Weapons and blossoms
by riskakiss
Summary: "A kid with a soft heart like yours shouldn't be here," he said noticing the bruises on her neck. "What do you know about my heart?" she asked offended by his words.
1. Chapter 1

_**I do not own Naruto or any of the characters**_

* * *

"What will you guys do once we return?" Sasuke asked surprising everyone with this sudden thoughtful question. He baked that question for quite some time before taking it out of oven and catching everyone with their guard off. He looked at each of them waiting for their honest replies, intending to force everyone to answer his question if not.

"What a silly question," Naruto laughed amused by Sasuke's out of character question. "Eat ramen." Life is about ramen and becoming Hokage. Once he returns, he will eat ramen every day and shortly afterwards becore Hokage.

Sakura looked at her dirty hands, thinking carefully of what they were asked. _Ramen…that is nothing…_ She judged Naruto as she always does. Life has more to it than just ramen but…she doesn't know what exactly. She judged Naruto although she has nothing better to say and now she feels guilty for thinking so immaturely. What will she do once she goes back? Will she go back? They left Konoha four months ago, ordered to represent their village in the war that the elders started because the Wind Country invaded the River Country and made camps too close to the Fire Country. So far, this meaningless war is difficult to win and nothing points towards peace. Either way, there will never be peace even after this war ends. She's seen too many things to go back to a normal life. Nightmares already follow her everywhere she goes and scenes she never wants to see again play before her eyes whenever she goes to sleep.

There is really nothing to go back to anyway. People at home have no idea what they are going through. They are living peaceful lives back in the village with lots of delicious food and in sanitarian conditions. "I want to return to my…older self," she whispered. That was the only thing that crossed her mind and seemed worth mentioning. Sakura kept on looking down, eyes staring at her wretched trousers. She got them only four months ago but they already look like she has been wearing them for over one year. They are covered in dry and wet mud and washed in blood.

"What about you?" Naruto asked back.

Sasuke asked that question because he had no idea what to do once back. It is not like he heard news that they will go back but he knows that one day he will and he has no idea what will happen next. "Probably take a bath," he said noticing dirt in his hair. A one-day long bath would not be enough to wash away everything, but it would be a start. After that….maybe he will spend time with his family and try to forget the life he had that year.

Sakura found his statement amusing so she smiled. The first smile of the week and Sasuke's first joke. "On second thoughts," she stated feeling energized, "ramen sounds amazing," she admitted missing the strong scent of meat and the nice texture of noodles. Her mouth is all water just thinking about it. Man, she would kill for some food right now.

They were ordered four days ago to fight in the front lines against the Suna shinobi. The plan was to be there only for one day and then return but things got crazy and they found themselves forced to stay there until they manage to push the enemy back. 200 leaf shinobi trying to fight back over 500 sand shinobi is madness but those are the orders. There are not enough shinobi to help anyway so they have to make it happen on their own. They were promised reinforcements but so far nobody came. Where could they possibly find reinforcements anyway? In this war men and women fight together and sometimes even children have to be sacrificed. They saw young lives die before their eyes in terrible ways. If reinforcements will come, there is no denial that the they will consist of teenagers and maybe villagers who learned in a hurry a few taijutsu moves. This is war. This is their war.

* * *

Shisui crushed the mosquito which was courting him since he arrived back at the camp, letting it to fall out his palm as he threw his slimy shirt on the ground and poured some cold water over his chest. It was cold but felt good and refreshing on that hot day. Taking in a deep breath he was pleasantly surprised by the lack of smell of burnt or rotten flesh. There is actually a nice combination of scents, pine and grass, that remind him of home, of his parents and of his favorite training ground. He smiled catching the scent of something even more pleasant, even more nostalgic: food. Shortly he will enjoy a nice, hot meal of something edible. Maybe tonight they will receive rice, fish and miso. God, he misses the miso cooked by his mother back home. Her food is pure magic and now he would give anything for a permit to go back home and enjoy a meal with his family.

For tonight, this is the only bath he can enjoy. Grabbing his dirty shirt, he went back to his tent in hope to find something cleaner to wear. Surprisingly, he was left a new shirt and a new pair of trousers. Every now and then they receive clothes from the village and if someone is lucky, the family will send more often something clean to wear. He is not part of those lucky to receive something from his mother as she is also fighting somewhere in the River country.

After long thoughts, he decided not to change into his new clothes but to keep them for when he manages to properly wash off the dirt. Pleased with his decision, he slipped the shirt back on and went to grab whatever they will be served with hope that it is properly cooked.

In the canteen tent, he had the pleasure to discover that they will receive udon and a bottle of hot sake. What is life in war if you cannot enjoy a warm drink after slaughtering so many throats? Being well known and a captain of a powerful squad, he received two bottles of sake and some extra meat next to his bowl of udon. Winking at the lady who served him, he walked out of the tent in search of a quite place to enjoy his meal. The tent is crowded and noisy and he is in desperate need of a quiet place with no people and no talking. He had enough of winning men that smell worse than skunks.

Finding a rock big enough to rest his back onto in the middle of the field far away from the tents, Shisui opened one of the bottles of sake and smelled the drink. It is cheap and has a slight teste of mold, but it feels heavenly. The last time he had such an amazing drink was right before he received the news that he needs to go to the front line with his team. The bad news had a stronger teste than the sake and everything felt spoilt. Now he is certain he will stay in the camp for at least a few days before he is sent to another battle.

War wouldn't be so bad if they had the opportunity to wash more often and eat the needed amount of food. In the front lines, the only food he can hope for is the one he takes with him and it usually lasts for only two-three days. After that there are only promises that they will receive some food. And by food, they mean some onigiri that are crushed during the transportation.

The udon is warm and tasty. Far from enough but tasty. He will have to fill his stomach with sake and hope it will keep him full until the next meal. After that he will have to visit the medical tent and see how his wounded men are doing. They left 50 but 10 died in the first day and 15 are seriously wounded. Only 25 were able to walk on their own feet back to the camp. Out of those 15, he wonders, how many will make it back to his team and how many will be buried?

* * *

Sakura watched the last few enemies fall together with one of their nin in an explosion. The hot wave forced her to lie on the ground with her eyes closed. Their comrade sacrificed himself knowing very well that he will not make it back once he throws the kunais with explosive tags. With slow movements, Sakura got up, a little dizzy after the close by explosion blew before her, waves of hot air drying her face and eyes. All that matters is that they can finally go back to the camp to eat something and rest their tired eyes. She sighed relieved and turned to leave but hearing some moans she stopped and looked behind him. _He survived,_ she thought with a heavy heat. She slowly walked to the man, dragging one foot behind her, hoping that he will shortly die and she wouldn't need to reach him.

But he did not die and she had to go all the way to him. She scanned his wounds while standing, knowing that if she were to knee she wouldn't be able to get up again: a broken arm and a hole in his abdomen. It would take too much to heal him and she has no more chakra left for such a serious procedure. Even if she struggles to stop the bleeding, he won't survive the trip back home. The man will bleed to death the moment they get him up. Sakura looked at one of her teammates and shook her head with regret. The man understood that nothing could be done so he took his kunai out and walked to his friend, hiding the weapon behind his back. Sakura turned her back so she wouldn't witness the heartbreaking scene. It is not because she does not have the stomach to watch but because it would make her feel like a hypocrite. She does not want people to know that she, a respectable medic, would allow something like this.

"We can go back to the camp," Kakashi announced as he landed near them.

Alarmed by Kakashi's sudden appearance, the man tactfully hid the kunai in his pocket and pretended he wanted to help the injured man. Maybe Sakura and everyone else can ignore a dying man but Kakashi would not allow it. He is the captain of the team and he has the last word. Another man came with a stretcher and they rested the injured man on it. Sakura had no choice but to stop the bleeding with bandages and somehow secure the broken arm.

On their way back, Naruto noticed she was stumping so he offered to carry her. She wanted to accept his proposal but not wanting people to see her getting special treatment, she just leaned over him as they walked back. On their way, they went pass the shinobi sent to take their place. Naruto saluted them and wished them good luck in a very detached way. He was the only one still capable of speaking and sending positive energy, the rest of the team was bruised, barely standing up and trailing behind Kakashi like a horde of zombies. There was no need to cheer them up, however Sasuke felt envious watching Naruto's positive attitude. There was nothing really to be positive about but Naruto won't get gloomy. He wishes he could be more like Naruto; maybe then, he could look forward to the following day.

Sakura watched Naruto with indignation and resent. They should not be happy after all the lives they took. They do no have the right to be happy. Dirty clothes and lack of food are only few of the punishments they should accept for their crimes. She wants to scold him and wipe that smile off his face but she cannot say anything. Naruto is most likely forcing himself to be like that so everyone can feel a little bit better about themselves. People passing them must not be frightened before arriving in hell. Out of all people, Naruto is one of the few who really cannot accept this war and who cannot accept the concept of killing. This must be hard on him and she must let him be no matter how annoying she might find his actions.

"I wonder what food they have ready for us," Naruto affirmed hearing his stomach.

"As long as it fills my stomach, it can be anything," Sakura answered hearing her stomach crying for food as well.

"Ramen would be nice…"

"Yeah…it would."

She wonders how her parents are. Since she left home she hardly heard anything from them. She is aware that everyone was forced to fight in this war and this makes her restless. Sasuke's parents were asked to participate and she fears her father is fighting somewhere as well. Her parents are not strong or capable shinobi. This makes her uneasy. If her father was forced to join the army he might have died long ago. He is incapable of fighting and he is not that good at surviving either. No letter from her mother reached her so far so she can still hope they were both safe in the village. She would kill twice as much if needed only so her father could stay home. Hearing his bad joked would definitely rise her current mood. She misses them so much.

"Maybe they will give us some cigarettes," one shinobi affirmed hearing Naruto.

"Or maybe some goose meat and rice," another said daydreaming.

Everyone started laughing. Even Sasuke portrayed a smile imagining the goose meat. If they can have food and a good sleep anything would do. Even just rice would be great.

* * *

Shisui slept most of the morning and woke up around 10. He could not believe he was so lucky to rest for so long without anything bad happening. He threw the blanket aside and looked for his clothes. Not wanting to dirty his futon, he slept naked. It was a risky thing to do but he took the chances and thank god he did not have to rush out of his tent in pants to fight the enemy. After dressing he went outside to enjoy a quiet and lovely morning together with other shinobi who just woke up. He threw his hands in the air and stretched. Today's objective is to take a shower and wash off everything. He does not even need soap if he can find clean water. Then again, soap is not very common during war.

On his way to the canteen, he found some barrels with water especially put there for washing and he changed his destination. If war taught him anything, that is not to leave anything for later because afterwards he will lose his chance. He slipped out of his dirty, slimy clothes in one second and jumped inside the barrel without holding back. The water was cold but it felt nice and it sobered him up in no time. He deserves baths like this where all he needs to worry about is soap. These months he has been working like a slave, going up and down the fields fighting enemies and saving comrades.

After a few scratches the water changed colors to the point he could no longer see beneath his abdomen. It terrifies him to realize just how dirty he is. Once clean, or at least cleaner than before, he wore the new clothes he found yesterday and went for food.

He waited in line and accepted whatever they offered him: three slices of bread, some butter (far from enough for the amount of bread) and a cup of coffee. He was surprised to see something as rare as coffee in his mug. A delicacy like that is served only once every few months and not everyone gets the chance to have it. Some people wake up really early for it and even then they lose the chance to have some.

Bread is not his favorite food and most likely most of those in the tent feel the same but when hungry nobody can complain. It is great they have at least that much. The butter is almost melted and looks like oil but it will give a different taste to the bread which will most likely catch mold soon and tomorrow morning it will be even worse.

Looking around, he had the surprise to see that Kakashi and his team were back from their mission. Noticing there was a seat right next to Kakashi, Shisui crossed the room until he reached the destination. Since this miserable war, Kakashi no longer bothers to hide his face when eating. The man noticed Shisui and nodded. He made more room for Shisui to sit and for a couple of minutes they ate in silence. Kakashi's team was served with some gem as reward for their hard work but they do not seem to care that much. They look like they died, barely having any power to chew the old bread. Everyone is dirty, tired and although extremely hungry, they cannot concentrate enough to chew. This reminds him of yesterday when he felt just the same. War is the only place where everyone is equal: everyone is hungry but does not have the power to eat and everyone is deprived of sleep.

"Have you noticed how everything tastes like mold here?" Kakashi asked disgusted by his coffee.

Shisui nodded as his mouth was filled with hard bread. He took a sip of coffee to help it down his throat. "Everything is bad…" he answered resigned.

One of the men at the table broke a front tooth as he tried to chew the bread. The tooth fell out of his mouth and rolled down the table until it reached the two men. They looked at it with very little interest. It is war: things like this happen all the time. Get a few punches in the face and then eat hard food and you are lucky to lose only one tooth. The man continued to chew and ignored what just happened. It is only one tooth after all.

Sakura fixed the tooth with a pit in her stomach. She was also unlucky to get a few punches in the face. What will happen if she starts losing her teeth as well? It is bad enough she has nothing to be proud of anymore, she cannot lose her teeth as well. She broke her bread in smaller pieces and started eating it one by one with a little butter and gem. After four unslept nights and continuous fighting she gets this miserable meal. They are mocking people who fight hard and give them garbage to eat.

Her misery was intensified by a blow in her leg. She looked across the table at the man who disrupted her from her rhythm. The two locked their eyes for a few seconds reading the situation.

Feeling the blame was on him, Shisui apologized. "My bad."

"Sure," she growled clearly bothered. After all the hell she went through lately another blow was all she needed. Her anger was intensified by his clean figure. He had the luxury to properly wash and put on some clean clothes while she is dirty and disgusting.

"Didn't mean it, you know?" he added bothered by her reaction. It was an accident. The tables are small and he had to move his leg for a more comfortable position.

"Whatever." The two kept on staring at each other until they concluded it was not worth it and directed their eyes to their pitiful meals.

Feeling bad for Sakura's attitude, Kakashi whispered to Shisui: "Bad night." They were attacked on their way back and everyone was forced to somehow counter the hit. But nobody was really in the mood for another fight so Naruto and Kakashi had tried their best to protect everyone.

"Yeah."


	2. Chapter 2

Shisui and Sakura are strangers and not quite. Since this war started, they met on the fighting field a couple of times and exchanged a few words in the medical tent but nothing other than that. Someone like him does not come for healing but for visiting friends or colleagues. Shisui has always been well known for his abilities and Sakura heard about him even when they were in Konoha but they never worked together before. The level of missions he took were out of her league. He was something like a deity – you hear of them but never see them. Also, being family to Sasuke, she heard once or twice from her teammate stories about the great shinobi Uchiha Shisui. But that was all. She had doubts of how strong he could be but once seeing him, she knew he was no joke. Sakura really appreciates that someone like him is ally and not enemy. That is available for most of the people she knows that have terrifying powers: Naruto, Sasuke, Kakashi-sensei, Itachi-senpai and so on. Even people smart like Shikamaru scare her. Yet, despite the good things about Shisui, she doesn't really like him. Maybe it is because Sasuke is the way he is and she made a general opinion about the whole clan. On top of that she hates his abilities and resents him for hardly getting wounded during a fight while she barely makes it through.

Tonight is her lucky night: she is to watch the eastern part of the camp together with Shisui. She bowed her head in respect when they met, something which surprised him, and after that she kept her back at him and stared towards the forest. She was still upset because of what happened yesterday but even if she wanted to speak there is nothing worth mentioning. Not worth speaking about what happened during her last mission: people died, she witnessed men stepping on explosive tags and losing legs or dying on the spot, she healed a few people, killed others or she watched Naruto getting all badass. Nothing Shisui hadn't seen before. The worst thing about war is that there are no more subjects to speak of when making new acquaintances.

The sky is clear and bright, much like the one she used to stare at during her days in Konoha. It would be a quiet night if it were not for the explosions coming from the battle ground. The air is trembling with cold and warm waves. The smell in the air is making her nostrils sting: a combination of smoke and iron. The smell is so strong that she can almost taste it.

"Still mad about the kick?" Shisui broke the silence seeing she was ignoring him. He occasionally looked in her direction, curios if she was really guarding or simply staring in abyss.

Shisui cannot take his eyes off her. He likes seeing her eye color becoming brighter when she looks towards the sky, the image of the stars nicely reflecting in her glassy eyes. He saw hope in her green eyes and that lifted some weight from his shoulders. Shisui wants to hear her voice and it would be nice to have one person less to hate him. How can anyone be so mad because of an accident like that?

"When we left Konoha we were expected to despise our enemies no matter what. Nothing is forgivable now," she said not even looking at him. Her answer was cold and straight forward, but she said the truth. Yondaime told them to leave their feelings in their homes and walk ahead with straight backs and no fear in their hearts. They must be emotionless and fight with honor for their village. From Sakura's perspective, he said a lot of crap that he later broke, but Sakura kept her feelings to herself. They were children when they were sent to fight but when people even younger than them have to fight, it is clear that the direction they are going in is not the right one.

Nobody told her to leave her nakama to die but she learned she cannot save everyone, and she learned that the hard way. The first month was most difficult: she cried a lot and regretted her weaknesses but later she embraced a new idea, everyone must be strong and self-sufficient. If they are weak and get serious wounds, then she cannot do much for them. Being an active fighter is drenching her chakra and she cannot fight and heal at the same time. She still has a long way to go until she can reach Tsunade's level. In the beginning, she apologized to everyone for not being able to do more than bandage them but later on she realized it was only normal, she is only one person after all. Some of those severely wounded did not make it and died on their way back home and her tears did not bring them back. Her tears dried up three months ago and they will not pour again.

Shisui knows that feeling very well. He was also told to hate all shinobi who do not wear the leaf symbol and kill them without hesitation. Never heard the reason why the war started but he could guess someone wounded their daimyo's pride. Why else would a war start over the night? He never took a step back from killing others so for him this resembles more or less his usual missions. Only that this is a very long mission. "I know what you mean." Everyone can relate to Sakura's feelings. He was confused when the war started and will be confused when it ends. IF, it ends. Shisui sat next to her on the grass and started arranging his kunai holster in a more comfortable position. His elbow bumped her arm by mistake, catching her attention for the first time for the night. "Sorry," he apologized right away, their eyes meeting for a short while. He remembered right away how sensitive she gets when he touches her.

Sakura nodded and turned her head back to the forest. She is bothered he sits so close to her but she does not want to push him away from her. Part of her wants to tell him off but the other part of her is grateful to feel a warm touch. She looked from the corner of her eye at his hands as he bandaged back his leg so his weapon holster is secured. His fingers are long and they move with grace. She bit her lips and looked away, embarrassed for staring for so long at him.

"I envy you," she whispered hearing something in the nearby bushes. Hand reaching the kunai holster, she patiently waited for the enemy to show. When she realized it was only a dirty rat, she relaxed her hand over her thigh and looked back at the sky. She panicked for nothing and wasted precious energy. The ground is vibrating under them making it unreliable for feeling movement.

Shisui eyed her and waited for her reason of envy but understanding that she had little intentions of continuing, he felt the need to question her statement. "Why?"

Sakura shrugged her shoulders, "You got to live longer than me. Don't get me wrong," she cut him off when he was about to come up with a sort of answer, "I do not mind dying. But I want to see how I would be in my 20s." Will she be taller? Will she be a better kunoichi than Tsunade? What kind of woman will she be?

"You are no dead." _Yet, _he mentally thought but did not have the guts to verbalize it.

"Yet," she stated in his place. "I don't fear death."

Many thoughts went through his head but decided not to voice anything. "You are a strange one." Everyone is scared of dying. It might be liberating to die but one can never know the pain before the final breath. He does not want to think about death as he is superstitious.

"Really?" she asked amused. They remained in silence, each of them properly doing their job. They watched the surroundings with great care, no grass movement being missed. None of them left their spots, enjoying the warmth of the other. Even Sakura who does not like Shisui very much finds his presence comforting. The night grew chiller, making them both move closer to the other until their shoulders touched.

Shisui found himself staring at her again, noticing how she pulled her knees to her chest and folded her arms around them to keep warm. "A kid with a soft heart like yours shouldn't be here," he said noticing the bruises on her neck.

"What do you know about my heart?" she asked offended by his words. Here she thought she could stay like this with him and now he angers her again. She is not soft as she used to be. Now she is a tough, emotionless woman who can make up her mind fast and kill without blinking.

Shisui kept the silence knowing he got her right. He can tell that she is having nightmares from everything that she'd seen and she cannot properly rest at the night fearing that she might die. So yes, she fears death but she wishes her pain would stop. She needs help but who has time to worry about a sick mind?

There is no more sound, as if the war itself died. It feels strange to be in a peaceful environment. She cannot relax when there is nothing to concentrate her senses on. Sakura clenched her fists, her heart beating faster. Why is there no sound? She glanced at him to see if he is on guard but noticing he is relaxed, she sighed and relaxed as well. "You bet I can guess your character as well?" she asked feeling the need to tell him her opinion as well. He did not guess her character but simply stated what he thinks of her and that is annoying. In this case, she can do just the same.

"Enlighten me."

"Mainly an asshole who believes his clan and status are far superior to most," she said not bothering herself with his status and age. Although she knows she must remain formal towards him, he looks like a guy who wouldn't mind her skipping the formalities.

Sishui indeed didn't mind her words and even smiled hearing her opinion of him. "Are we speaking about Sasuke here?" he asked out of curiosity. The description fits his cousin like a glove.

"Was I wrong?" She learned how to read people after she arrived there. He was right to state that it mainly applies to Sasuke, but if she had to describe him she would say much worse words. A love she once thought to be pure turned out to be nothing but nourishment for Sasuke's pride. She watched him making woman after woman fall for him just so he could sleep with them. Back in the village she could ignore the rumors of his habits but here she witnessed him in action and can no longer deny it: he is an animal.

"My clan is superior to most so pride has nothing to do with it." It is a fact and he is proud of it. Many think that Uchihas are nothing but proud and arrogant but with a clan as powerful and numerous as theirs, anyone would be proud.

She was forced to portray a smile. Finding that a sign of weakness, she suddenly got up and walked a few steps away from him. It is bad enough he sees her a child, the last thing she wants is to show him her weaknesses. "See, an asshole." She does not understand the pride to be part of an old clan with its own traditions and abilities but that does not mean that the rest are weak and useless.

Shisui also got up and together they walked back to the camp, each of them contemplating about what they talked. None of them seems to agree that the other guessed right. On their way back, they walked pass their replacements, two lazy men with no interest to guard for the night. Guess she will be up tonight, worrying if suna nin managed to get pass them. Shisui nodded to the men as a salute but with a serious face. The men understood and sobered up within seconds, walking ahead with confidence. If something bad happens, Shisui-taichou knows who to go to.

Sakura stopped in front of her ridge tent and looked at it with resent. It is dirty, low and crowded. A tent only big enough to fit one person and a few things like some clothes and a bar of soap.

Catching up with her, Shisui did not miss her expression as she stared at her tent with disgust. He agrees that the tent is far from a decent home but at least it keeps the rain out. Sakura clicked her tongue in irritation as she was about to bent and get inside but was stopped by Shisui as he cupped her fists, bowing only low enough for his lips to reach her ear. There is one thing he wants to tell her, to let her know that she was right about him. "You got one thing right," he whispered as he looked down her pale neck, "I am an asshole," he finished kissing her earlobe. All he wanted was to agree with half of her statement but somehow they ended up like that. He is an asshole and his clan has nothing to do with it.

There is something about Sakura that makes him do things he does not want to. Maybe the sensation of her back over his chest excited him, making him unable to control his actions and kiss her. Anyway, it has been a while since someone managed to excite him like this. Parts of his body which he believed to be in a deep slumber are now waking up, raising for her.

The kiss made her blush in embarrassment and anger. She sized their hands, slightly bothered by the sudden closeness. His palms are rough and have small cuts that scratch her skin in an unpleasant way. The touch is annoying. Infuriating. "I wouldn't have guessed," she snorted clearly bothered.

Shisui bit his lips. He found the courage to intrude her personal space but not to continue the conversation. Although he knows it is wrong, there is something about this girl that turns him on. She is not exactly a beauty, at least not in his eyes, but the words she said earlier bear so much truth that she caught his attention. If before he was indifferent, now he sees her in a slightly different light. He wouldn't call this the beginning of love nor would he think of it to last more than a few days, but she managed to turn him on and it would be a pity to ignore his awakened desires. The problem is that the little mini Tsunade is unpredictable and he does not want to get a blow in his face. If he suddenly steps back he feels like she will react worse than if he continues. Shisui rested his cheek over her head, eyes looking over her cleavage and down to their hands. Her fingers are skinny, but her skin is smooth and pleasant at touch. It's been a while since the last time he touched a woman and the sudden urge he feels is almost making his lower abdomen hurt. "We could end this night in a more pleasant way," he whispered trying to sound convincing but his voice was a little shaky. He has no confidence she will accept him.

Sakura's eyes got big when she realized what he was referring to. She looked at her tent with lips partially open, playing his words in her head over and over again. How can he ask her something like that without shame? Feeling his hips pressed against her rear, she turned her head to glare at him. "Hey," she threatened making him take one small step back.

Feeling like he could get a positive answer from her, he gathered courage to touch her again. He reached her pink hair, slowly gathering it in one messy ponytail which he held in one fist. Strands of pink locks wrapped around his fingers as a defense mechanism. Shisui carefully pulled her hair without provoking her pain until she lost balance and fell over his chest, regaining their initial position. A moan nearly left his lips when he felt her weight over his groin but he tried his best to look unaffected.

"This is the only thing they cannot take away from us," he whispered close to her ear.

His actions took her by surprise. She never thought that someone other than Sasuke could be so bold and shameless. Her mind tells her to punch him away but something inside her is keeping her lips pressed together. He is right, they cannot take pleasure away from them but sleeping with a stranger is not the best way either. She hates him. He is old and bold that it pisses her off.

Shisui bit her earlobe, making her legs give in. She leaned powerless over his chest, heart beating fast at the realization that he is manipulating her. She cannot fight him in any way. He is an asshole, but he is good. Shisui wrapped his hands around her middle, pressing her harder over his body. She lost.

* * *

Friday morning was marked by a rainstorm that started in the middle of the night. When team 7 and team 8 were sent together with several other shinobi back to the front, everyone was prepared to die caught in mud and with slaughtered throats. Nobody questioned the orders given with so much wisdom. They took their weapons and, on their way out of the camp they received the leftovers of that week: dry bread and some chicken. At least they received something and although not enough to keep them full for more than two days they will fill their bellies with gratitude for still being alive.

Ino walked next to Sakura, silently enjoying the company. Who knows which of them will not be back? The girl can tell Sakura is a little bit off but does not feel like she cares enough to ask. Months ago, she would have asked but today she has no energy to worry about other people. Sakura will be alright. As soon as they reach the front, nothing else will keep their minds busy. They will only struggle to survive and somehow come back in one piece. By then, no worries will be remembered.

On the other side, Sakura is not really in need of someone to listen to her problems and she does not even want to share. She is thorn between regret and acceptance. Surprisingly, sleeping with Shisui did not bring the pleasure she was hoping for and somehow she feels like she did another thing in vain. But she tries her best to think as less as possible about that because soon they will reach the front with its rats and rotten bodies, bodies which have been left there since the first day of war. She will act like a rat herself, hiding and trying to survive. She has to leave that memory die because otherwise she will only get distracted.

The front is quiet. Sakura and two other shinobi are hiding behind a mountain of dead bodies and silently wait for the enemy to strike. There is no sound but they can feel the presence of the enemy getting closer. Despite knowing she might die if she loses her concentration, all she can think about is how she managed to lose the only thing which was still good about her. And yet, she cannot condemn Shisui because she agreed although she could've pushed him away. She even helped him take off his clothes so she could feel him. He managed to seduce her.

Lost in the memories of last night, she casually relaxed her back over the dead bodies and visualized the scene. Shisui shamelessly asked her to sleep with him and she accepted although knowing it was not right. Her tent was crowded, occasionally shaking as their movements hit the walls but that did not bother them. They were caught in the action, exploring their bodies and hungrily kissing for more.

Deep inside, both of them felt miserable and shameful but none of them could stop it anymore. They took advantage of the night which kept them in darkness and hid the misery portrayed in their eyes. None of them was happy about the situation but none could stop it. All they wanted was to finally feel good and release their stress.

A hit blew up the pile of dead bodies, pulling Sakura back from her memories. The sudden smell nearly made Sakura and the others faint but they covered their noses with their palms and jumped out in plain sight just to get away from the smell. Pieces of rotten flesh fell around her and in her hair, bringing back the smell she tried to escape.

A sudden earthquake broke the ground to pieces. Someone stepped on an explosive tag, the ground breaking beneath their feed. Sakura fell like a rock in the hole, back hitting the earth as she landed. Green eyes caught the beautiful bright blue sky, making her notice that the rain stopped. Once, she used to spend her days simply watching the sky and now she barely notices it. She heard another blow coming from above, screams shortly following it. People were forced down in another hole with traps. They got seriously wounded but none died. The call of duty forced her to jump out and search for the wounded.

The day is over with many wounded shinobi on their side. The fight is still going on but they lost around 20 people today. The enemy is strongly pushing them back and if they do not come up with something they will start fighting inside their camp.

Naruto and a few others are hiding inside a hole, waiting for their captain to come up with a new plan.

"Man…I would do anything for ramen," Naruto cried hearing his stomach. He covered his belly with his hand palms and looked down with spinning eyes.

"Can you beat them all so we can go home?" Shikamaru asked feeling dizzy. He is hungry as well and the food he has must not be eaten all at once.

"Do you have a plan?" Naruto curiously asked.

A plan? He has lice and an empty stomach. Shikamaru has scratched his scalp so much that it stings even when air blows through his hair. There are no conditions for him to properly sit and think. Plus, he is not the one giving orders there. "I hate war," he hissed scratching his head.

"Get in line," Sasuke mumbled.

"These damn rats are everywhere," Ino cried kicking one away. The rats are just as hungry as they are and since they cannot get to their food, they try to eat people alive. She got used to the idea of being surrounded by rats but their bites hurt.

* * *

They were useless enough to need reinforcement from other teams. The enemy kicked their asses for a few days before new teams were sent to help. The teams, fresh in power and with stuffed bellies were stronger, better than them and managed to push the enemy back in only one day. On the others side, Naruto and the others were envious of the new teams. While they were out, other people got well fed. They will complain about that when they get back at the camp.

Sasuke and Kakashi gathered strength to fight as well, refusing to be saved while doing nothing. Shortly afterwards Naruto jumped ahead as well, leaving Sakura and Shikamaru relaxing on the ground. None of them had the power or will to get up and fight so they watched from behind the suna getting their asses kicked. It was like a nice movie, Naruto using his kyubi powers and the Uchihas summoning their susanoos.

On their way back, Sakura scratched her head, dirt falling out as she did. A bath would mean a lot but she will be needed at the medical tent as soon as they are back. There will be no time for her to properly wash and eat.

"That sucked, huh?" Shisui spoke catching up with her. Sakura did not look at him, eyes fixing the image ahead. How could she look at him? She slept with a stranger whom she hated, losing the last bit of pride she had.

That night, after they did it, he said nothing. He dressed and left without a word. He was aware she was not asleep, green eyes watching his movements until he walked out. Their eyes locked a few times but only for split seconds. They were ashamed. One thing was clear for both of them, it had been a bad idea, but it was not the first or last one. Sakura knew it was sex with no strings attached but she hoped he would say something before leaving her there. He didn't.

Shisui waited for her to say something back or at least look at him but seeing that she had no intentions of recognizing his presence there, he sped up and left her behind. That was a very awkward meeting and he feels stupid for even trying. He regrets waiting like a loser for her to say something. He is fully aware she hates him for leaving that night but he felt embarrassed and he just wanted to get out of there. Shisui does not deny she felt just the same but that was her tent, he could not just stay there and wait for her to leave. They will shortly be over that night and over this meeting as there are more important things to worry about. But until then…

Sakura watched Shisui walk away without saying a word. Again. But he can walk away for all she cares. There is nothing between them and there never will be. She caught a glimpse of her reflection in a puddle: dirty hair and face, tired eyes and cracked lips. When was the last time she was pretty? If she travels her fingers through her hair, she will not be able to take them out. Realizing that even in her state he got excited, Sakura searched for Shisui in the crowd. She should have said something and keep him there but once again her anger and pride acted before her judgement. This is what she can do: watch his back.


	3. Chapter 3

"Being a woman is hard, especially during war. You have to always be careful," Kurenai said on a low voice while looking at the young women gathered in the classroom. "Never let anyone take you as prisoners and if they do, find a way to either escape or kill yourselves because if not," she made a short pause looking at the scared faced, children of 15, 16 barely aware of what sex is are staring at her with big eyes and small hearts, "there is nothing they cannot do to you." Kurenai put further on the desk the white bottle which she brought to show to the girls for the lesson. "Rape is guaranteed." It took her a while to gather courage to say this to kids who cannot even imagine what sex is like. Among all the kunoichi, it appears that Kurenai seemed most fit to tell children about rape and unwanted pregnancies. As Yondaime said, she has kind eyes and a pleasant voice and children will find reassurance in that. "Rape can happen even on the fighting field so never let your guards down!" The class remained in silence, nobody even daring to move, each of them imagining horrific scenes of rape. "To prevent unwanted pregnancies each of you will receive every 2 weeks a drink made out of special herbs." Sakura looked at the white bottle, fully aware of what plants were used and how strong the drink was. She made it herself after Yondaime ordered her only a week ago, without explaining her why. But yesterday she heard the news about the war after an urgent gathering at the Hokage Tower. The next day the boys and girls were separated, each of them receiving special trainings. Sakura bit her lower lip, scared of what the world had became.

"Sensei," a girl called raising her hand up. Kurenai looked at her patiently waiting for her to continue. "Why would they want to rape us?" she asked on a trembling voice, scared of having to leave the safety of the village.

"Why do you think?" a bold girl answered before Kurenai could. Everyone looked at the Inuzuka girl who snorted at the stupid question. "This is what men do."

Now that she thinks back to those hours in the Academy with Kurenai she cannot help but wonder how could she be so blind when he ordered her to make it. It didn't even come from Tsunade or from a hospital representative. The girl who was scared of rape died in the first month of war; she stepped on an explosive tag. Sakura watched her break apart before her eyes, a bloody rain putting out the fire. She was beyond horrified, she froze in place with her mouth and eyes wide open as parts of body landed on the ground. They were not close, she didn't even know the girl's name, but it was the first person to die like that before her eyes and that had a great impact on her. She got scared and for the rest of the fight he hid like a rat under dead bodies, scanning the ground before each step. She was not ready to die or witness such deaths so why was she there? Even now she sometimes has nightmare with the girl and her final moments.

A few weeks later she was already a different person, no scene could move her heart again. She learned from the mistakes other people did and managed to survive until now. But she cried a lot in her tent until that happened.

Sakura snorted finishing the content from the white bottle. The drink has a bad taste and in the first hours after administration most women feel nauseous and dizzy, her included. Sakura closed her eyes, feeling her stomach getting sick already. She was so excited when she made the drink, ignoring the Kage's grave voice and cold eyes when he ordered her. She used to be so stupid. That day with Kurenai in the classroom was a terrifying wake up call. She believed Yondaime chose her for her great abilities to make something good but she was chosen because she wouldn't ask many questions and finish her task without mistake.

Unlike most women, she knew what sex was about, she couldn't have been a medic without knowing how the body works but she was terrified when Kurenai started speaking about rape and unwanted pregnancies. She was haunted by the thought that she might have made a mistake and that the drink was useless even if Tsunade approved of it. Now, after her night with Shisui, she is certain it works. Sakura covered her mouth feeling sick. So many months later she still cannot get accustomed to the drink. She might have exaggerated a little with the ingredients but at least it works perfectly. What she doesn't know is the effect of the drink after long administrations. It shouldn't put the health in danger but god knows if Tsunade left the recipe like that or added other ingredients. On top of that an empty stomach is also more sensitive so the reactions are worse. She just cannot understand how there cannot be enough food for all of them.

"The taste is bad," Tenten said reaching the girl who was sitting on her own away from the tents. She also knows that Sakura made the drink and that feels reassuring. Among all the doctors, Sakura seems most trustworthy. These past months she saw Sakura go badass on the fighting field, saving lives when it seemed impossible and performing procedures with the few things she could grab then. She always knew that Sakura was bright but she had no idea Sakura was also that flexible. Tenten watched Sakura trying her best to keep the drink inside. Sakura started breathing through her mouth, eyes teary at the sudden sensation of nausea. She cannot throw it up no matter what. "You did a good work though," Tenten continued looking in the direction she came from. Men are outnumbering women and she knows that sometimes they tend to force women for a fast one. Such rumors are quite common nowadays. What Kurenai didn't tell them was that rape could come from within the camp and it is an often occurrence.

Sakura sighed starting to feel better. "Did anyone touch you?" Sakura asked feeling protective of Tenten.

"No," the brunette shook her head in denial. She will keep to herself the fact that she does spend her nights with Neji. Maybe Sakura does it too, probably with Sasuke, but she doesn't share such info so she won't either.

The medic nodded trusting Tenten's words. It is good to know that men do have some shame and do not go for everything that moves. Although a hypocrite, she cannot help but appreciate that her friends are safe and that men go for those a little bit weaker. What happens to people she does not know is not her business. Only Shisui didn't think too much before having her. She was a woman, happening to be there with him that night and it seemed good enough for him. Hopefully he does not do it very often with all her colleagues.

"Are you a virgin?" Sakura asked before even realizing what she was saying. She tried to remain emotionless afterwards, pretending it is just a normal question.

"Yes. You?" Tenten lied without hesitation.

"Me too," Sakura lied also. Somehow, they both know the other lied.

Sakura wishes she was still a virgin, part of her resenting Shisui for everything he did. Everyone talks about sex as being amazing but as far as she is concerned, sex is nothing but pain and humiliation. She tried to hide the pain she was feeling but when his thrusts started feeling like knives cutting her inside, she could not keep her moans inside anymore. She didn't know she will experience such a painful first time; her body still shivers remembering that night. He knew she was suffering but he still went on, proving her just how much of an asshole he is. Even Sasuke would've stopped but not Shisui. Sakura licked her lips feeling grateful to have such good brains and be able to create such a good drink. At least she won't get pregnant.

* * *

If Obito were alive he would be disappointed to see Kakashi looking with lust at younger women. Obito would give him a good beating and humiliate him for even thinking that his student grew up, her breasts becoming noticeable. As any woman, Sakura changed a lot in the past years, her features maturing and her body changing to one of a woman's. Her hips are preeminent, her legs are long and slim and her chest is more generous but she still has to grow there before she can be more to his liking. Not that his preferences matter because he will keep his hands to himself.

"Careful there teacher," Asuma said catching a glimpse of Kakashi's stare. "Despite the context, it would still be wrong of us to molest our students." The words hit Kakashi right where it hurts. He nodded and sighed, ashamed he dared to stare at his student with such lustful eyes. Yes, Sakura grew up a lot and she could be a nice party but she is still his precious student. "Though I do get it," Asuma continued seeing Ino walking to the medical tent. Among all the girls her age, she and Hinata are the most gifted ones. These girls have everything a man can wish for these days: round asses and big breasts. Heh, of course he also noticed, not just Kakashi. He had time to carefully study all the young girls and although Sakura might have a nicer face, the body counts more. Thank god he has Kurenai there for a good fuck.

"I'd like to pretend I didn't hear any of that," Shisui said approaching the two lustful men. Asuma aside, he does not really like the way Kakashi was looking at Sakura. There are certain things he takes pride in and having Sakura's virginity is one of them. He knows Kakashi wouldn't dare touch Sakura but it still bothers him that the man looks at her in that way.

The two cleared their throats and looked at the black haired captain stopping next to them with his hands in his pockets. "No mission?" Asuma asked feeling ashamed that someone like Shisui heard him. He knows the boy likes everything to be fair and moral; he just doesn't know that even Shisui breaks his principles if it is worth it. For example, a pink haired kunoichi with a big mouth could be enough to lure him and make him do what he hates other men doing. But it was not rape, Shisui kept on telling himself remembering she kissed him back and touched him just as much as he touched her. The regret appeared only after learning she was a virgin but at that point he was already deep inside her, the feeling shaking off his reasoning. Shisui looked towards the two women, noticing how Sakura was resting on the ground as if not feeling well but after his eyes fell on the white bottle lying next to her, he knew there was no need for medical help but just some time for her body to get over all the secondary reactions to the drink. How can anyone remain a virgin in all that mess? Anyway, she didn't push him back and didn't tell him to stop and neither did he feel the need to leave her warmth, fully aware of the pain he was causing her because…because she sucked it up and swallowed her words. That was enough for him to keep on going and feel no pity as he caused her pain. He cannot react or pity people for the pain they feel, especially if he is the cause. This is why he is a shinobi: to cause pain and break others. Her glassy eyes were holding in the tears, staring at him, trying to transmit him the pain and wish for him to stop but he pretended he could not read it. It was dark. The shame and regret came when she moaned in pain and he closed his eyes so she could not see how bad he started feeling. But even with all those feelings he still didn't stop until he finished. Shame hurried his release so he could dress and get the hell out of there faster. He knew she was watching him waiting for him to say something but all he wanted was to leave. He will never again ask random girls for sex. He learned his lesson. The only good thing about that night is how he managed to fuck Tsunade's pupil when others wouldn't even dare to approach her. Her virginity is a patch over his shame.

"Tonight," Shisui finally replied remembering the two men still waiting for his answer. Seeing Sakura finally getting up from the ground, he knew she was feeling better, so he averted his eyes to the cloudy sky. For a man with no skills in sex he sure acts tough now. That night after he left her he couldn't even sleep, regretting every thrust and wave of pain he caused her. Even to this day he cannot understand what had gotten into him that he even dared to ask for sex, leave alone the act itself. Why had be been he so insensitive with her? He is not like that with colleagues. "Might be a tough one," he added. He might be a sharp weapon with no feelings but he is still human and what he did shouldn't have happened. Maybe she asked for it and that is how he found her so attractive. Who knows? He is a total mess.

* * *

Sakura patiently waited in the medical tent for squads 6 and 2 to return so she could finish for the night. She was told by Tsunade that two squads were sent as back up on the battlefield and that they would be back by midnight so she and several other doctors are to wait for the wounded. She patiently waited in the tent, sitting on a chair with no arms and playing with a bandage. Nights like this are tiresome and boring and she still feels a little bit sick from the medicine she drank earlier that day. Sakura sighed, feeling her eyelashes heavy. She looked up, eyes noticing a man staring at her but suddenly shifting his gaze away, pretending he was not noticing her. She shrugged her shoulders and looked back at her bandage, pretending she didn't see him either. She doesn't even know his name.

Today's meal was an improvement compared to yesterday's but because she was still not feeling good, she didn't eat everything. They served miso, boiled baby carrots and a chicken wing. She could only eat the miso, taking the rest of the food to her tent for later. Again, if was far from enough food but at least it was more than nothing. She can guess that the Kage has no intentions of keeping them hungry and that there is not enough money to buy food for them.

Around 1 in the morning, the squads arrived and to everyone's surprise, there were very few wounded. It was as if they didn't come back from hell. Sakura placed a few bones back and stopped a hemorrhage, finishing her work in two hours. She wrote down the medicine recommended for each of her patients and left the note to a nurse, leaving the warmth of the tent. As she walked to her tent, she noticed Shisui sitting on his own next to the fire, legs crossed and hands rested over his knees as if meditating. Sakura stood there for a while, considering her next move. She has not seen him lately and something tells her he is kind of avoiding her. She cannot help but wonder if they can work together. If he will be her captain on her next mission, will she be able to follow his orders? She intended to turn around but stopped, the medic inside her screaming for her to do her work properly. He does not deserve it, not after the pain he caused her. As far as she is concerned, someone can poke his eyes out.

"Senpai?" Sakura called before realizing. She nearly covered her mouth, regretting she could not leave him be. The man remained motionless as she approached him, staring carefully at the fire with his dark eyes. The urge to turn around and leave was strong but Sakura fought it and stopped in line with him, carefully scanning his arms and legs, checking for injuries. His shirt is almost clean, no trace of dirt or blood. He really is shameless. People die around him and he doesn't even have the decency to get a wound.

"I'm fine," he finally said relaxing his back and tilting his head to look at her tired, pale face. "Should sleep," he advised getting up. Shisui took a step closer to her, eyes locked with hers. Her green eyes look pretty in the light of the fire, anger making them darker. It is only normal for her to be angry with him. Such a pity, he thought noticing her pink lips and feeling the urge to lean for a kiss.

"Are you fine?" she asked keeping his stare. He looks tired, dark lines prominent under his eyes.

He could not help but notice the lack of concern in her voice. It is a professional question and his answer is not necessary. From what he can see, she could even leave him bleed to death. "Yes," he replied knowing that was what she wanted to hear so she could leave. Seeing a wild strand of hair waving over her nose, he reached it and tamed it behind her ear.

Her heart skipped a beat at the sudden closeness but kept her poker face. He is again intimate with her and she minds it. The most surprising part is that she cannot react and tell him just how annoying he is. All she wanted was to make sure he was fine and now he makes moves on her again. "Don't even dream about a second time," she said when he brushed her jaw and neck before his hand rested over his thigh.

He smiled amused by her sudden boldness. "One can only dream nowadays," he joked but she remained unimpressed not realizing he was making fun of her. He knows he should stop and not fall in sin again but she is like a magnet, attracting him and making him unable to restrain himself.

Shisui gave her a smile before walking past her. Sakura swallowed harshly when the spell of his eyes broke and she could properly think again. She would like an apology from him.


	4. Chapter 4

Falling asleep with an empty stomach is close to impossible. The sound of the stomach crying for something edible is unbearable. Itachi turned on the other side, eyes wide open, ears bleeding from the sound made by his stomach. He ate something but far from enough and the night is still young. Lately, the nights feel much longer than they used to. He is tired, hungry and he has no more energy to fight. And no desire. Itachi turned one more time, cursing in silence. He has this reflex of chewing although his mouth is empty. "Water," he whispered and stretched his hand towards the bottle of water. Water is the only thing he has as much as he wants and nobody has the intention of taking it away. Getting on his rear, he emptied the bottle of water, trying to fool his stomach. Damn, he cannot fool his stomach just as the leaders cannot fool him that this war is good.

A few tents away, Shisui has more or less the same problem. There is someone in the tent next to him who is snoring so noisily he cannot fall asleep. He is also a little bit hungry and he wouldn't mind some bread but that is not his biggest concern. The only thing he can have at the moment is sleep as food is something rare. Shisui got on his rear and looked around his tent: a backpack with weapons, a shirt and a bottle of water rest next to his futon. His head hits the tent top and this tells him how little the council cares for their comfort. He reached for the bottle of water and drank while listening to the snores. Who sleeps next to him? Neji? Choji? Kiba? No, most likely it is from Shikamaru. That bastard snores terribly when he falls asleep from exhaustion. Throwing the bottle on his pillow, he grabbed his shirt and shoes and walked out of his empty and yet crowded tent. Shisui looked at the sky, dark clouds covering the view. This is more depressing than the impossibility to fall asleep.

Shisui took a peek inside the noisy tent, confirming that Shikamaru was having the sleep of his life. He kicked the ground annoyed, a small rock being kicked inside and hitting Shikamaru's chest, and walked between tents, no direction in mind. He wants to sleep and yet there is no place for him to rest. Since he left Konoha he often feels like he belongs nowhere. A drop of water crushed on the tip of his nose, forcing Shisui to look back up. Heavy rain will catch him off guard unless he finds a place to shelter him. The rain is dangerous taking into account all the ways a shinobi could send a poisonous cloud towards them. Another drop of rain fell on him, forcing him to rush to the only tent he could infiltrate in.

Sakura's tent was empty. He rushed inside, prepared to step on her as he did so but he safely fell on her neat futon, no trace of her there. He looked around while taking off his shoes, surprised nobody was there. With no hesitation, he crawled inside and rested his back on the futon, eyes staring at the rooftop. From what he knows she should be in her tent at this hour but maybe there was an emergency with a patient and had to leave. It is good she is not here to kick him out in the rain.

The camp is separated in two: at one side sleep women and at the other side sleep men. This implementation happened only recently after many women accused men of sexual harassment. Separating them did not really solve the problem but at least women felt a little bit safer in the nights. And now nobody could complain to the council for doing nothing and not carrying for them.

Sakura's pillow is comfortable but the bitter scent reminds him of the medical tent. The smell makes him feel a little uncomfortable. It reminds him of colleagues he saw for the last time in the medical tent before they died. It reminds him of the horrible cries coming from the tent whenever he goes to eat. How can she live with this smell following her around and constantly remining her of death? Shisui closed his tired eyes, thinking of Sakura in the medical tent trying to save as many lives as possible. It feels reassuring.

They haven't seen each other lately, mission after mission forcing him to leave the camp often. Despite their distance, he often thought of her, the green grass reminding him of her eyes and making him feel she was there with him. Although an illusion, it felt reassuring to imagine a medic like her following him around. In the quiet nights when all he had to do was spy or guard, he could swear that the stars were aligned to show him shapes of her body. Those nights tormented him with lust and memories of their time together. To his surprise, his interest in her has not faded as he initially thought.

The air felt hot as he inhaled, drunk with the memory of that night. Shisui licked his lips remembering the night he slept with Sakura, her small breasts quivering as he thrusted inside her, small moans of pain leaving her pink lips. Although not a beauty for his standards, it is hard to imagine how she refrained herself from having sex. A virgin… When she shamelessly grabbed his member through his pants and started rubbing it, he thought he found an experienced woman but when he penetrated her, her body got stiff. He knew but he didn't want to stop the pleasure he was feeling, her muscles locked around his penis as if forcing him to stay inside. With the memory of that night, he fell asleep, the noise made by rain acting like a lullaby.

* * *

The sudden wave of rain caught Sakura off guard while she was training. Not being able to sleep, she had this amazing idea to go out and do some shuriken training. She trained alone until her fingers started painfully pulsing from friction, satisfaction growing with each aim she hit. Rain was not part of her plan, but she needed to stop so she gathered as fast as she could her weapons and rushed back to her tent. As she reached her tent, clothes already wet, she felt a stranger's presence in it. Realizing she knows the chakra signature, Sakura felt a sudden pressure on her chest which made breathing difficult. She hasn't seen him lately as he was always out but she thought about him. She healed his squad members and heard them talk about him, some of them proud of working with him while others resenting him for not keeping them safe. Her ears heard stories about him often and she found herself at some point longing to see him in person and talk to him. Even she sometimes thinks of their night together and just like his colleagues, sometimes she gets hot and other times she resents him.

Sakura swallowed harshly before she crawled inside her tent, thinking of how she will react when they will meet. However, to her surprise, he was sound sleep; with one hand resting under his head, Shisui was sleeping completely oblivious of his surroundings. Sakura kicked off her dark blue sandals and sat on her knees on the edge of the futon, eyes scanning his sleeping face. She feels like she has never really paid any attention to his face, each of his traits seeming unfamiliar to her. Sakura bit her lower lip, a little bit happy to see him sound and safe. Now that she spends a few moments to truly see him, she notices things she does no like about him, like his nose which seems too outstanding. He does not have the face of a man who could seduce her and yet he successfully managed to do it without a problem.

Feeling a shiver going down her spine, Sakura looked around the tent for her backpack to grab a dry shirt. Stretched above him, Sakura reached for her backpack to grab it but losing her balance she grabbed his knee instead trying not to fall over him, alerting him and making him wake up. Shisui opened his eyes the moment he felt pressure over his leg and jumped on his rear with a defensive intent. His black eyes locked with Sakura's green ones reminding him that he was neither on the fighting ground nor in his tent.

The sudden closeness between them is making him slightly uncomfortable and he cannot help but question why she is above him. But seeing her feels as assuring as he imagined during his missions. Shisui relaxed his muscles under her touch, eyes scanning her surprised face, green eyes shyly glancing back at him from beneath pink bangs.

Feeling too close to him, Sakura slightly blushed and released his knee, gathering her balance back on her knees and rested her rear on her heels. She bit her lower lip finding herself in the situation where she has nothing to say and yet she feels like she must say something. The awkwardness between them is pressing her to come up with something. "Why are you here?" she asked finding the question suitable given their situation. After all, that is her tent and he shouldn't casually be sleeping there.

Shisui reached her cold face. He noticed right away her trembling lips and wet hair. "Needed a quiet place to sleep," he answered, mind processing her cold and wet figure. Her lips are turning purple. "You should undress," he said leaning closer to her to grab her shirt.

Embarrassed by his boldness, Sakura grabbed his hands and pushed them away. "You sure are a jerk," she growled not getting his intentions.

The rejection felt rough and annoying. "You will get a cold," he growled back.

Sakura nodded, agreeing with him that she should put on something warm, but his presence there is making things difficult. She is aware he knows parts of her better than she does but she still feels shame. "Go back to your tent." Sakura shifted her position and reached her backpack to take out a dry shirt.

"Will you push me in the rain?" he asked hearing the rain getting heavier.

Agreeing that she is not that inhumane as to push him out, she turned around to change. "At least look away," she whispered feeling his stares on her as she rose her shirt above her bellybutton.

"Closed my eyes," he lied anticipating her moves.

She knows he lied but she is too cold to continue on arguing with him. With fast movements she removed the shirt and threw it on the ground. She regrets leaving her tent without a bra, her breasts visible to his hungry eyes. Shisui did not have the best view but he noticed she wore no bra, imagining that her nipples must be hard. Sakura covered her body with a wretched old shirt and abruptly turned her head to look at him. "Asshole," she hissed as their eyes met.

Somehow their meeting feels different from before. He no longer feels like a stranger and she can tolerate him more than she used to. Maybe it is because there is nothing to hide anymore. He knows her to the deepest point and there is nothing left to hide. Even changing her shirt before his eyes felt unusually easy. When have they become like this?

The old shirt has small holes here and there making her skin visible to him. He longs to touch her creamy skin and feel her beneath him. Shisui reached her shirt, penetrating a hole with his index to feel her cold skin. Sakura winced in shock, grabbing his wrist in defense.

"Nice reflexes," he complemented leaning closer to her. She smells like the forest and like the rain. "Nice scent," he continued and leaned even closer.

He looks healthy, she thought as she stared down his neck. His skin is clean, healthy and with no trace of injuries. She is envious of him for his abilities. Feeling his hand fully rest on her middle, his finger gently stroking her bare skin, her bones melted until she leaned in, resting her forehead on his shoulder. She swore this will never happen again and yet his touch alone is the attention she longs for every day. His touch can compensate for everything bad that happened that week. His strong and worked hands give her the reassurance she so desperately needs. She is safe as long as he is there for her, regardless of his intentions.

Sakura gives him reassurance. Her trained hands are light as they travel up his arm and feel weightless as she clenches his sleeves for support. How long does a medic have to train to be so light and unobtrusive? He never thought he will find comfort in a pair of skinny hands. His other hand traveled up her back and clenched her pink wet locks which make her feel unreal. After all, who on earth is born with pink hair and green eyes if not a celestial being?

"Is this your real hair color?" he whispered in her ear, gentling pulling her locks.

Sakura bit her lower lip as a shiver flashed down between her legs. His voice sounded deep and his breathe felt hot against her skin. She nodded as she slid her fingers beneath his lips to cover her burning ear. Why does someone like him have such an impact on her? "Of course…"

When has their relationship changed? She grew on him so much. Her unusual appearance captivates him and makes him search for her everywhere. What makes her so special?

Sakura licked her lips as she looked down, eyes scanning the lump in his pants. She blushed but did not look away, part of her flattered of the effect she has on him. Nowadays not even Naruto tries to flirt with her. She often feels unattractive and she is aware that her looks are not the best. She has no idea how other kunoichi manage to look fresh and appealing all the time while she always looks tired and grumpy. Despite how bad this might sound, she is sometimes envious of how other kunoichi get sexually harassed while she doesn't.

He sees her in a different light. It is nice.

"Do you hate me for that time?"

The question caught her off guard; she never thought Uchiha Shisui will give a damn about her feelings. She cannot blame him for something she wished for and she cannot ask him to take responsibility because she doesn't care enough. "Why did you leave soon after it?"

He knew she will ask that and he had a reply ready for her but her shaky voice erased all his arrogance. Shisui can act indifferent towards her only when she is not close to him and he cannot feel her. She is the weakness he doesn't want. She awakens feelings he does not need. Her presence is annoying. "I'm sorry," he whispered in her ear. He is really sorry for it but he has yet to decide if the regret comes from hurting her or from not being able to have her again.

The lump in his pants pulsed under her stare. Will it happen again? Does she even want for it to happen? She wouldn't push him away if he initiates something. Sakura blushed at her own thoughts. If he could read her mind she would be in great danger. Shame he cannot.

It doesn't take a genius to read her. Her body is growing warm under his touch and he can tell that she wants him. He can smell it in the air. Or maybe he just wishes this were the case because her scent and the feeling of her skin drive him crazy. His erection is painfully pulsing for attention, for her attention. The most difficult part was to have her the first time, now it should be easier. At this point she no longer has anything to lose.

Shisui released her middle and slipped his hand beneath her shirt. She remained calm, her breathe growing hot over his neck. This is the sign he needed. Not taking his time to be gentle, Shisui grabbed her shirt and took it off with one move. Finding herself naked before his eyes, Sakura threw her arms around his shoulders and pressed her lips over him, hungrily sucking his lower lip. It is his fault for happening again.

The kiss is sloppy but her cold lips are sweet and feel nice over his. He cannot complain for her lack of skills but instead he feels grateful that the night ended like that. She is driving him crazy. Shisui broke their kiss to her disappointment and she found herself pulling him back to kiss her again.

"Sakura," he gasped stroking her arms, "I want to take off my shirt." To please her, he leaned in for a fast kiss, the only key to unfold her arms around him. Shisui acted fast and blindly threw his shirt on her pillow, his eyes never leaving hers. Sakura patiently waited for him to undress but the moment his shirt was off, she pressed her chest over his skin, longing to continue their kiss. "You sure are a hungry one," he chuckled over her lips.

Sakura bit her lower lip as she put space between them. "You don't want me?" she seductively whispered, growing more confident with each second.

"Don't break the little restraint I have," he whispered on a raspy voice. He could break the rest of her clothes and have her before she could blink but he wants to make it better for her this time.

She has no idea what got into her but she longs to have him inside her. In his arms she feels safe no matter how annoying he might be.

Shisui took care of their clothes quite fast and they crushed over the futon while kissing, their teeth painfully crushing. They hissed in pain but did not let the incident to stop their act. He travelled his fingers down her body, rolling them around her breasts and pinching her nipples. She moaned in pleasure and reached out to touch his cheek and get him to bent down and kiss her. He obeyed her without delay but continued his journey down her abdomen.

"There is no doubt this is your real hair color," he chuckled slipping his fingers through her hair.

Sakura blushed embarrassed at the sudden realization that she had no time or possibilities to take care of herself. She jerked her left hand to take his away and cover her shameful area. Shisui had fast reflexes and grabbed her wrist before she could cover herself and pushed it down next to her ear. "Don't," he growled threatening. She seduced him and drove him mad with her hungry kisses. There is no way he will let this end before he finishes. "We're finishing this." His hungry lips cupped a pink nipple, gently sucking it until she limped beneath him and allowed him to open her legs. "It doesn't bother me." In the current context she is at her best and he has no expectations of her to be shaved.

Sakura blushed hearing his words but the feeling he was leaving beneath his touch was stronger than her will. She feels powerless under his hot touch, something inside her belly pulsing for more. She wants this sensation to last forever. The feeling is lingering on her skin and makes her anticipate his next move. The embarrassment of his statement is turning her on and makes her want him to reach faster down between her legs. Only during sex she feels like it is alright to get turned on by such shameful statements and long for more to happen.

Sakura gasped for air the moment she felt one of his fingers slide inside, tensing and relaxing within seconds when his thumb started rolling over her clit. It felt good, much better that the first time. Now he takes his time to please her, no hurry in his actions as he searched deep inside her so that next time she will not ignore him and let him come back for more without having to restrain himself and just take her with no words. Sakura bit her lower lip, air getting caught in her lungs as he was getting closer to the sweet spot inside her.

He can read her like a book, her face a mirror of her feelings. She cannot hide or pretend anything especially when her body starts moving as well for better friction. He slides another finger inside and thrusts harder and deeper, her hips slightly raising for a better, more pleasurable angle. The presence of a second finger did not make her feel better but she could take the slight sensation of pain. She felt like there was no space left inside her, her walls stretched to the maximum capacity, and wondered if he could feel it too. Indeed, he could feel her tight walls pulsing around his fingers, sucking him deeper, making him fasten the pace until her back arched and her thighs closed trapping his hand.

It was clear that he will cause her pain again once he enters her but at least this time he will compensate with the orgasm she just had. Afterall, he is not kind enough to spare her this and pass his fair share of pleasure. He worked for it. Just the way his penis throbbed inside his pants while touching her, her vagina should tear apart for him.

* * *

Sakura sighed tired from all the work she went through in the medical tent today. She woke up quite early, Shisui already left her tent by then, and went to work. Only three hours later the canteen opened and by that time she was so hungry that she didn't pay much attention to her poor breakfast. She ate everything at a high speed and left with her coffee to finish her work. By the time she came back, there was a big line in front of the tent – patients waiting to be seen by her. Sakura cursed in silence as she walked inside. This is war time and people should only visit if they came with missing limbs from a fight. Those who come there because of food poisoning, headaches or colds are asked to go back to their jobs, their pain not important enough to require attention. Nobody has time to treat things that can treat themselves in time. And if one is capable to stand in line for a checkup then they are as healthy as they need to be to fight.

The first patient came inside, a girl with brown hair and blue eyes. By inside it should be clear that right at the entrance of the medical tent was a table with two seats, one for the doctor and other for the patient. No pills, no bandages, nothing but a register and a pen for Sakura to write names down. Those who enter the tent on their own feet are not considered sick patients and are just registered and sent back to work. The girl walked too slowly to Sakura's annoyance and at first glance there seemed to be nothing wrong with her. Sakura enjoyed a sip from her coffee until the shy girl sat on the stool in front of her. "So?" she asked losing her temper.

"This is…um…my period is two months late," she whispered embarrassed people might hear her.

This is another situation considered an emergency. Any shinobi who is at risk of becoming unusable should be taken care of as soon as possible. "Go further ahead to Tsunade-sama," she said detached. Even so, she has no excuses she got pregnant. Why didn't she take the medicine? Most likely the girl will get some sort of punishment for it.

Sakura watched the girl as she shily walked away. She can no longer feel bad for people. If war taught her something that is to never pity anyone regardless of the situation. Nobody there wants pity – especially from people who are pitiful themselves. "Next," she called and waited for another _patient_ to be ignored. The man walked inside with his head up, looking around and making Sakura feel slightly suspicious of him. She remained composed and waited for him to sit. She saw the face before but she doesn't know his name.

"I hurt my knee," he said and made Sakura question him right away.

He never limped once since he walked inside and showed no signs of pain as he sat down. "In front or behind the knee?" she asked.

The man shrugged his shoulders and leaned to touch his knee beneath the table. "Behind," he replied faking pain.

Sometimes shinobi come faking problems in hope that they will be sent home for a few days but so far nobody managed to go back to the village. She has not seen her family since forever and even if she is Tsunade's student she still does not get preferential treatment. Sakura crossed her fingers over the register and looked at him with no emotions. She is past getting emotional over everything and a liar does not even deserve to be spoken to. "This place is not for games. Come when you have a real emergency," she said on a cold voice. "Name?" she will write down his name in the register with the mention that he is a liar and wants to go home for no reason.

"If I could speak with Tsunade-sama and explain her my…"

"We do not bother her with unimportant things," she cut him off. "Name."

The man hissed annoyed and jumped on his feet, proving there was nothing wrong with him. "This is unfair!" he shouted catching everyone's attention.

Sakura also got up ready to sent him flying outside the tent. "This is the last time I am asking for your name," she said on a low voice.

The man clenched his fists and jumped from the table. "Bitch," he growled and walked ahead past her.

Sakura felt something snapping inside her the moment he named her bitch. Maybe it snapped because she is aware that her relationship with Shisui is not exactly acceptable. But a stranger does not have the right to call her names. Sakura turned on her heels to throw him a good punch and send him flying through the other exit but seeing the man flashed further ahead in the tent, she dropped the idea with the intention to chase him.

It is impossible for Sakura to narrate what happened next but she heard a click and the air inside the tent suddenly became hot. The walls started vibrating violently under the sudden wave of air which came from the man who became violent moments ago. After that everything is nothing but flashes of images which she saw before a wave snapped her body and threw it though the tent and outside in the field. The man's shirt tore to pieces and his henge no jutsu broke, revealing a suna shinobi. There were paper tags on his chest. Wounded patients were thrown through the walls outside. Tsunade shouted something to Sakura before the second wave which pushed Sakura outside. As she found herself outside, the girl witnessed with fearful eyes the tent crumbling to the ground and getting eaten by fire. Her back hit a tree and she crushed to the ground.

Everything felt as if it did not happen. The scream. The insult. The teleportation. The suna nin. The fire. Sakura blinked, ears painfully buzzing and making her woozy. Green eyes stared ahead with no light in them, seeing nothing but flashbacks of the incident. She cannot hear anything but the click and the buzzing. Did anything really happen? It feels like a bad dream before waking up and realizing that it did not happen. Did it happen?

When she woke up this morning, Shisui was already gone, only his scent lingering on the pillow. This time she could not get angry with him. He was gentle with her last night and kept her close to him, one of his hands securing her middle. After so many weeks she slept with no fear and no nightmare to hunt her. Maybe the sex did not feel right again but the sleep compensated for everything.

A smack on her back was all she needed to release the air caught in her lungs. She felt an urge to throw up but she did not, only saliva slipping through her parted lips. The hot wave of air burnt her airways all the way to the lungs.

"Get yourself together!" Ino shouted pressing her hands over Sakura's back to heal her. "We need to start healing others!"

Sakura heard very little of what Ino said, the buzzing in her ears covering most of it. She did however hear 'healing' and it was enough for her to understand that she had a job to do. To what extend she can actually do it it is yet to be found out. Her mind cannot think straight, brain still playing flashbacks from time to time. When her mind takes a break between flashbacks she notices her surroundings: burning grass, burning tent, legs passing by in a hurry, people on the ground barely breathing and severely wounded.

"I'm done. Get up!" Ino shouted jumping on her feet and expecting Sakura to do the same. "We need to go back inside the tent and take people out!" Ino took a step further but seeing Sakura remaining motionless on the ground she turned back and shook her shoulders. "Sakura! Get up!"

"What are you doing?" Koharu shouted seeing two medics standing and doing nothing. "Get to work!"

Ino turned as if burnt by the woman's words. "Sakura was in the tent when the explosion happened. She is not well…"

"Then leave her and go do your damn job!" Koharu ordered not really carrying much for Sakura. "And drag her after you!"

"We need to evacuate the patients inside," Ino said walking towards the tent and leaving Sakura behind.

"No! Forget them. Care for those outside!"

Ino froze in place not believing what she just heard. "Abandon them?" she asked on a trembling voice.

Koharu's high pitched voice reached Sakura's ears. The girl flinched trying to regain control over her body. Koharu comes and leaves whenever she wants and travels from camp to camp to give brilliant destructive orders before leaving behind scarred shinobi. This is how the elders lead from the shadows and their excuse is always the same: the situation asked for it. Sakura rested her palms on the ground and tried to get on her feet, her head spinning the moment she got up. She leaned over the tree behind her and looked around the camp horrified by the scene. Everything is burning and people run and scream scared.

"Don't question me!" Koharu growled annoyed by the blond girl.

Sakura closed her eyes to stop the spinning. Hearing no sound from Ino, the pink haired kunoichi felt it was her duty to motivate Ino. "It is an order…" she said barely speaking, the air not feeling enough no matter how much she gasps.

Rule number 4 – a shinobi must always put their mission first. No matter how wrong it might be, an order is always above anything and personal feelings are irrelevant. If they are ordered to leave people behind, then this order will guide them regardless of whom they have to abandon. She saw people being ordered to stay behind and die so the others can ran and survive. This order fells less cruel than that one. They are no longer human but shogi pieces and when you are ordered to die, you die. Succeeding the mission and surviving is equal not following the rules. Sakura opened her eyes and glared at Ino. The blond girl bit her lower lip and teleported towards the first wounded she could reach.

"You too," Koharu spat annoyed for being ignored by the blond girl. The old woman turned and walked towards a safer place, leaving everyone burn alive behind her.

If she survives this war she will kill the old hag before going back to Konoha. Sakura pushed herself back on her feet and walked with small steps towards the crowd of shinobi. She still feels as if everything is nothing but a bad dream she has to wake up from. Sakura kneed down next to a man with severe burns on his face. Her eyes cannot focus properly on his face as the image keeps on spinning and duplicating. She feels sick again.

At the other side of the camp Shisui is splitting his squad into smaller teams. They have to search the forest nearby for suna shinobi and they must check the camp to make sure nobody else is planning an inside attack. He does not need to be there to guess that this terrorist attack was caused by sand shinobi. His men nodded and off they went to accomplish their missions. Shisui activated his sharingan and went searching the camp as well.

A few moments later Tsunade, who barely managed to survive the explosion, invoked Katsuyu and started healing everyone outside the tent. This gave Ino courage to jump towards the burning medical tent and get inside. The scene played before Sakura's green eyes. The girl sighed feeling powerless. She has yet to recover and she cannot concentrate chakra in her arms but her mind is clearer than before. One thing is sure: she cannot let Ino step on an explosive tag and do nothing. There will be serious consequences if Koharu finds out Ino didn't follow a simple and clear order. Sakura bit her lip as a small Katsuyu reached her leg and started sending chakra through her nervous system. She shouldn't find herself in this situation but there is nothing she can do at this point. Sakura grabbed Katsuyu and jumped towards the tent with a clear mind. She will go to hell for a childhood friend.

"Thought this is the wrong thing to do," Ino growled bothered by the presence of the pink haired kunoichi.

"It is the worse thing to do," she admitted kneeing next to a bleeding man. She put her hands on top of the open wound and started the process to stop the bleeding. "We will suffer consequences I am not ready for but I am going with you Ino."

The two looked at each other after which they turned to the wounded and started healing. Their work got easier the moment Kakashi and Choji appeared to help with the tent. While Tsunade and the rest of the medics who survived struggled to heal those in the camp, the two girls struggled to save the ones inside the tent.

The fire ate the medical tent and the canteen withing hours. By the time most of the people got medical help and the fire was put out by water jutsus, the sun was down and it was growing dark. With no more chakra to heal with and no more power to keep her eyelids open, Sakura walked towards the river in the forest. Some tents miraculously made it, her tent included. If she gets to rest tonight, she will have a roof above her head to keep her safe. Sakura dragged her feet towards the river feeling nothing but chakra exhaustion. Everything was her fault and real consequences will come from that. The girl kneed next to the rived and started at her reflection: she has burnt locks and her face is dirty. She fucked it. This time not even Naruto can save her sorry ass. How could she let the man get past her and destroy their camp? She knew right away something was fishy about him and she reacted too late. Her eyes are painfully dry and no tear can surface but deep inside her heart she is crying frustrated. Real fear is not dying but getting punished for allowing something like this to happen.

The kunoichi drowned her head inside the cold river. She will not sleep tonight in her tent. If she is lucky to sleep at all it will most likely be in a cell after getting a good beating.

Shisui's presence alerted her and she got her head out of the water and looked over her shoulder at the serious shinobi who is walking towards her with small steps. His eyes are dark and fix her with no emotions. Shisui is going to deliver her to Koharu? Does he know as well that she allowed something like that to happen? He is remorseless as he approaches her with fingers clenched into fists. If only it wasn't him who had to catch her sorry ass and drag her to them. She could jump in the river and swim away from anyone but him. Shisui will grab and drag her back on the shore before even touching the water. He knows how to follow rules and he doesn't fail the way she does.

His heart is throbbing painfully in his chest. When Koharu called him and told him to bring Sakura to her without fail, he knew right away that something bad will happen to her. As he walks towards her he cannot help but notice her skinny and powerless body that could concede beneath any punishment. In his eyes she is an unfortunate victim. Someone has to get punished and she is the unlucky one to be chosen. Nobody cares who is punished for something as long as they set example and release their anger on someone. He could pretend to look away and give her time to run but where would she go? For better for worse, she still has a place to return to right now. After the punishment she will get back to her normal life and hopefully find forgiveness in her heart. He is fully aware that he will not fail an order on purpose. His pride would not allow something like that. The vow he made is a seal over other useless feelings.

Sakura turned her head to face the river and got up with a straight back. When she turned to face him, he was already next to her but her face no longer looked frightened. She looked at him with a serious face, no fear visible in her green eyes. Sakura will not make this difficult for him. She wiped the wet locks away from her face and waited for him to speak out. He reached her wet face and tamed behind her ear a lone lock which remained on her cheek. This is not betrayal. This is an order he has to carry out. She knows better than him why he is there.

"I cannot say anything cool like 'I won't let anyone hurt you'," he started as he clenched her arm. "But I know this is not your end."

"It's fine." She does not need such sweet words that appear only in romantic movies. If this were a movie the main theme would be war. There is no romance in what happened between them. That was nothing but lust and desire, no strings attached. She never expected anything from him and he never considered there could be more than just plain sex. Even if this is her end, she has no regrets when it comes to him. He gave her things he is unaware of; the safety she felt next to him as she rested for the first time in months means more than love. How many women felt this safe in the hands of a stranger? How many women can be themselves and still appeal to a man? How many women were lucky enough to sleep in his arms? Maybe that would be her only regret, she slept only once in his strong, protective arms. If only…he hadn't left the first time. "We can go."

With the other hand Shisui went around her head and clenched her wet hair, water dripping down his fingers. He cannot sweeten her situation with empty lies. He cannot promise her she will be alright. This is the first time he feels the humiliation after understanding what lack of power feels like. Shisui pulled her hair to force her to look up and let their eyes meet. "Shall we, then?" he asked as he leaned in and pressed his lips over hers.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys, sorry for always being so slow. I always spend a lot of time writing and rewriting chapters until I feel satisfied with the results. **

**Anyway, thanks for the amazing reviews and hope you enjoy this chapter as well^^**

**P.S. - I do not own Naruto and I am aware of the great changes I made to it with this story**

* * *

"What is the first rule during war, Haruno?" Koharu asked looking down at the girl kneeling before her with her arms tied behind her back like a dangerous criminal.

Sakura kept on fixing Koharu's feet as she thought. Among the few things she carries on the battle field in her vest, her military service record is one of them. Inside, she has a nicely folded paper with all the new rules a shinobi must follow. "Never let the enemy get past you," she answered on a flat voice.

"So why did you?" Koharu questioned.

"I was careless." She was careless with Shisui too but surprisingly she has no regrets regarding neither of the matters. She did whatever she could to stop the enemy just as she did everything she knew to keep Shisui away.

"And that costed our camp," the woman said walking around Sakura and stopping behind her. True. What Koharu says is very true. But she has no regrets. Not about Shisui. Not about the burnt camp. Not even for disobeying orders. She is no genius and she is not ashamed of this. She is young and foolish so mistakes are unavoidable. "You are a brilliant medic but you are still a shinobi and such mistakes are not taken lightly. Punishment is the only way to set example and avoid this from happening again."

Sakura looked at her right, at her blond friend who was also brought there but who had the privilege of standing on her feet without being tied down. Ino trembles as she looks at Sakura, fear visible in her eyes. Sakura wanted to snort but she felt like it was not the time to mock anyone. But she cannot help but wonder, why did Ino disobey orders if she is so terrified right now?

"And Yamanaka-san," Koharu started as she walked around the blond girl and stopped in front of her, "the rules are the same for everyone regardless of their background." Except that they are not really the same. Ino comes from a prestigious clan with old history in the village and her father is well known, respected clan leader and committee member of the village. On the other hand, Sakura is a normal kunoichi who is part of no clan and in her family are weak shinobi who reached only chuunin level. They are not into politics and they own a small clothes shop under their apartment. Anyone can punish her without constraints.

Koharu walked in front of the two girls, carefully considering her moves. There is also Tsunade. The punishment must be fair and leave Sakura still capable of working for the village. "Both of you will get 10 days of imprisonment," she said making up her mind. "And 10 whips for Haruno."

Koharu laid the sentence as she walked towards the exit. Two men walked inside, one of them to take Ino to the prison and the other stopping behind Sakura with a chakra whip in his hand. Ino looked at Sakura with big stupefied eyes as she was pushed towards the exit. She struggled to see Sakura's face, putting a fight before being dragged out of the tent, unable to see Sakura's face as pink locks kept it hidden. Ino did not find the voice too call out, hoping that Sakura will look at her and show her a smile, but none of that happened. As she got dragged out, Ino could not even hear Sakura breathing.

The punishment didn't feel heavy. She was expecting something bad to happen to her and she knew that Koharu doesn't have a soft heart. At least she did not get a heavier punishment just to prove to the rest that it doesn't matter who your teacher is as long as you are wrong.

Sakura was never whipped before and no matter how cruel an enemy was, the pain never reached this level. The first hit felt like a warm-hot feeling on her back, the clothes protecting her skin. The second whip felt rougher but the pain was still more like a hot, uncomfortable feeling. The third whip left a stinging feeling behind, the sound of the impact resonating in her ears. The fourth whip was no longer gentle, her back getting hot and pulsing all over. The impact made her eyes big, realization that she will not get through this without feeling something becoming prominent. The fourth lash left behind a burning sensation, the feeling of a deep cut on her skin that stings. The firth lash was pure pain, the cut feeling a lot deeper than before. The sixth hit was worse than the previous one, her skin feeling ripped from her bones.

Sakura looked ahead, at where Koharu stood until minutes ago. She will get through this and she will make sure that woman never gets back to Konoha. Afterall, this is war and an old woman like her will get an illness from the rest of the shinobi. She will let her die in agony. This is a promise.

Sakura refused to scream despite the pain she was feeling. She just hissed as the lash would land on her skin but nothing more. She has her pride and showing someone that this punishment is unbearable is not going to happen. Sakura just looked ahead with serious eyes, refusing to let others see the reflection of pain in them. She just hissed and concentrated to the damage done to her back.

The good thing during war is that even those who give punishment are human. The man assigned to punish her did not give Sakura 10 whips but stopped at 9, feeling like he would break her spine if he landed another whip of her. She took care of his wounds once and he will be under her hands again and he does not want her hate. The last hit landed on the ground next to her. The man kneed next to her and helped her up, noticing the determination in her eyes. "I am sorry," he apologized feeling bad for everything. But it was an order, not his decision.

"I know," she replied trying to keep a flat voice.

* * *

Shisui always believed that the core value of his beloved country is equality. He woke up and went to sleep every day knowing that his country was less corrupted and his work was necessary to purge other countries too. Beyond his job as a shinobi where killing is the main activity, he thought that after everything bad is wiped out, the shinobi world will fall into a state of peace. He feared that peace as people like him are no longer required and but he longed to see that world too. When the war fell on his shoulders, he started realizing things that were always there but he ignored. He knew that he was treated a little bit different because he had the power to really make a difference during this war by receiving extra treats at diner or by having the opportunity to receive medical help whenever needed. These things he realized after his first week in the camp but did not pay much attention to it as these were normal in the village too. The genius Uchiha boy was always praised and always got things for free so he let it slide easily. He thought that everyone had their share in a way. Then he met Sakura and the reality of the world hit him worse than war. He understood that the special treatment he always got was not for everyone and that the village does not treat everyone equally. He saw that people who do not have reputation are many times ignored or left to struggle alone for success or die miserably while trying. But the most painful thing he understood because of her was the importance of a clan. Sakura pointed that out when they first worked together. He laughed at her and saw her as a foolish, easy at mind child but as time flew by he became more aware of things happening around him. His words no longer seemed as a way to point out how amazing and honoring the Uchiha clan is but proof of how foolish and blinded he was by the honor of being born an Uchiha: _"My clan is superior to most so pride has nothing to do with it."_ Pride had everything to do with his oblivion. He was aware he was special but he was oblivious of the effect it truly had on others. It was not admiration and skills that differentiated him from the others but special treatment, better quality medical help, more patient people…basically his entire life was a damn privilege.

Shisui remembers every day the words he told her about his clan being far superior to most and that breaks him apart now. Because he is far superior he is sitting next to Itachi under the warmth of the sun while lower rank shinobi clean up the mess in the camp and she gets punished for it. And what is most painful is the realization that she doesn't get punished for being reckless but for being weak and unexperienced and letting the enemy go past her. That shouldn't be punishable. Someone should take the time to teach her what she doesn't know. She did what she could with the power she has and yet they cannot see beyond the mistake. This is the corruption he always refused to see and the proof that equality does not exist. The Yamanaka will have a mild punishment compared to Sakura. He doesn't need a lot of time to contemplate in order to understand how this works. How it always worked. What did she feel when he pointed out how important he is compared to others, compared to her? Did she feel anything? Compared to him, she was always aware of this and lived her entire life know this so for her maybe it was normal. She learned from Tsunade because even Kakashi didn't see anything worth training in her. She watched her sensei train only Naruto and Sasuke for a while before she had to search somewhere else for someone willing to teach her something.

"You are quiet," Itachi noticed looking at the working bees. Captains do not clean up and do not bother with work like that. He would like to help but he could also use a break. But then again, everyone could use a break.

"Thinking."

"Care to share?"

"No," he answered on a quiet voice. What is the point of sharing something that most likely everyone was aware of except him? It is humiliating. Especially now that he understands how corrupted he is as well. He took advantage of her and although knowing it was pride now he understands the effect it has.

* * *

"…ra…" Sakura twitched her shoulders, slowly becoming aware of the cold floor beneath her stiff body. "…kura…" Her cheek brushed the floor, raising small particles of dirt. The smell of damp earth is irritating her airways. "Sakura!" Ino called one last time grabbing the iron bars which keep her away from her friend.

Sakura opened her eyes and blinked, trying her best to focalize the image before her. She can distinguish the sight of a wooden bed leg spinning before her eyes. "Mmm…" She closed her tired eyes trying to fall asleep once more and escape the terrible feeling of dizziness.

"Please wake up," Ino begged as she slipped on her knees, forehead brushing the bars. She wants to step through the bars and walk next to her so she can stop the bleeding from her back. Even if the cells are very small, she can barely reach Sakura.

Ino watched with horror as Sakura walked past her cell with a man behind her. She had a poker face on, no signs of pain or distress visible. The moment the guard locked the door, Sakura crushed on the ground and remained motionless for the follow hours, making Ino go mad with worry. Ino tried to slip through the bars but no matter how much she struggled, she couldn't touch her friend. She was quite close, her nails almost touching Sakura's shirt but it was not enough to send chakra to Sakura's wounds. So she waited, nothing else for her to do but stay pressed over the bars and watch over her friend.

Sakura jerked her leg as if suddenly awakened by a strong sound. She once again tried to look ahead, the image of the bed clear this time. She looked beneath the bed and through the grey bars in the next cell which was empty. There is a lone dirty pillow lying on the flood, who knows when and by whom tossed and left there. Maybe someone frustrated just like her upon realizing how little the council thinks of them. Maybe someone hurt, just like her, when understanding that they have no value and nothing to offer to the village. What did she ever offer anyway? She saved some lives but people also died under her hands. Her family is not even worth talking about. They are simple people who barely reached chuunin level and shortly after she was born, they opened a small clothes store and gave up their shinobi life. Or whatever that was called while they did low level missions. This is their level. Normal people who live normal lives and enjoy life the way they can understand it. And they might understand that she does not lead a normal, equal shinobi life but they do not force her to talk about it. They suffer in silence because this is the life she chose for herself and she is ambitious and wants to continue the fight with discrimination. And she will manage it because there are other people like her who did it. For example their Fourth Kage, who was an orphan and his parents were not noble shinobi either. So she will make it too.

The pink haired kunoichi pushed herself up and on her rear, her ears slightly buzzing and back burning as if fire is eating it. Her mind is clear though and she remembers every detail of what happened inside the tent before she was brought there.

"Sakura…" Ino cried worried.

"Am fine," she said and wrapped her hands around her until she reached her back. The feeling of her cool chakra covering the injuries feels like a pack of ice, numbing her back and easing the pain. She will be fine, there is no lie in that.

"You cannot be fine…"

"I can," she silenced Ino as she finished healing her wounds. There, the pain is gone and she is truly fine. No pain means no problems and no worries. Sakura nodded, mainly to support her thoughts. She is perfect once again.

Ino bit her lower lip, eyes filling with tears. How can anyone be fine after something like that? She cannot even imagine the pain Sakura must have felt when getting beaten. If it were her she would fear for her life now, not trusting anyone anymore. And maybe Sakura doesn't trust her anymore and hates her for everything.

Sakura watched her companion with utmost care and noticed all the wrinkles forming on her forehead. She does not need a special jutsu to read Ino's mind. The blond is not wrong, she is indeed feeling something but that is not what Ino thinks. "I am physically fine," Sakura insisted uttering each word with great care. "I do think stuff but they won't dull my mind." She will not let hatred take over and push her to stupid things. No, she will remain cool and focused because there is nothing for her to do but wait. Koharu is an old lady and war bears many illnesses she is bound to catch eventually. This war will kill that old woman and that will be her revenge because what comes around goes around. Karma is a bitch and she does not want anything to turn against her.

Not knowing what to say anymore, Ino wiped her tears and sat in a proper seiza. She doesn't know what to talk about but she fears the silence falling between them. She wants to hear Sakura talk and…and console her. At this moment, although Sakura got it worse, she is the only person who can sweet talk Ino and tell her everything will be alright. Yes, she knows that is the wrong thing to think but she cannot escape this weakness. Not even now when she has to be strong. Her daddy's relations are keeping her unharmed and away from painful punishments and yet it is not enough to make her feel safe.

Sakura is not a genius, that is clear already, but she can tell that Ino is waiting for her to say something and make her feel better but unfortunately she has nothing of the sort ready. Sakura is the least optimistic person in the whole camp. She guesses some things and hopes for other but she cannot be certain of anything. Look where her trust in Shisui brought her. Sure, she doesn't blame him because it was an order, but she trusted she was safe in his hands and she wasn't. She also hoped the punishment to be light but it burnt like hell. At this point, she has no idea what will happen tomorrow.

Looking around, she noticed how the prison was manually dug beneath the ground but poorly calculated and ended up a small place with only five crowded cells. She looked up the bars until her eyes fell on the ceiling, noticing worms poking out of it. She is truly stuck in hell, in a disgusting room with rats craping on her bed and worms ready to fall on her.

"We will make it," she said deciding she will not die there. That is not optimism but determination to get out of there alive.

* * *

Someone said that time is relative and made by man. They could be right because without it Sakura feels like she is stuck in abyss, in a dark hole with only one torch burning in the middle of the hall and failing to make enough light. She is stuck in that cell with no way of distinguishing day from night and no way of telling if time is still or not. Only rats can move through that void and become a form of time predictors. They have moments when they sleep for long periods of time and then Sakura guesses that it must be day outside. When they become active, it must be night. There is a guard coming by to bring them water and food but they do not talk or share glances. He leaves the bowls of rice and cups of water on the ground and leaves. That must be the morning. The two girls then rush to the tray to take the recipients before the rats can reach them. They eat with their dirty hands, forced to use them as little as possible so they do not eat any deadly bacteria. That is her reality now. And there it is clear that time is relative but essential for mortal beings to live.

One day, or night, as she was looking across the hall to an empty cell, Sakura heard voices and the sound of something being dragged. Two men carrying an injured shinobi stopped at the cell across from hers and tossed the wounded shinobi on the ground. The man could barely speak or move but they made sure to lock the door and prevent him from escaping. She watched him lying on the ground, unable to see his face, and scanned the bandage covering his arm. Whatever was beneath the bandages it won't react well in contact with dirt, rats and humidity. He was already a dead man.

Indeed, after the rats had their second inactivity moment, the man died. He remained there on the ground, nobody bothering to remove him from there to this day. They are probably waiting for his sentence to finish before they bother to dig a hole for him. Sakura remained with her back rested over the wall and stared at him as if watching TV. She is not a sick person fascinated by a dead body but she has something to see; with each second his body is changing. Rats already moved in his cell and slowly ate his toes and probably face but she is grateful she cannot see it.

A rat rose on its back feet and smelled the air while looking at her. She looked back at it with a straight face. No, she will not be its next meal.

They couldn't talk anymore. Both girls wanted to talk and although they had nothing else to do, they felt like there was no time at all. So they waited for the right moment. The moment never reached the talking time. At some point, Ino and Sakura didn't find the need or strength to talk and they had moments when they doubted the other was still there. There was no subject, no time and no desire. After unslept nights they were finally becoming rats themselves, doing nothing but lying there and occasionally eating. Only one day or night of sleep would be enough to regain their strength but they couldn't sleep because they feared rats will crawl up their bodies and eat their faces. They didn't want that so being awake and idle seemed the safest way.

Then at some point, Sakura started hearing things, the sounds of the whips which broke her back. In the beginning they were faint but in time they became loud and clear. As she sat there on her rear, her elbows propped up on her knees, she became a statue, staring at the ground without even blinking. A rat squeak meant a second flying by. A second passed meant another whip. Each imaginary whip made her back burn and sting. But she did not move because she felt no desire to. She just stood there thinking and doing nothing. Pain meant she was still alive.

"Hey!" The voice called a third time annoyed. Sakura blinked confused of what time it was but not seeing any food on the ground she felt like everything was in her head. "Sakura," the whisper made her eye twitch.

Sakura started focusing on the shadow before her, mind putting the pieces together to what seemed to be a human. She kept on looking up until her eyes locked with a pair of burning sharingans. The tall shadow has a well-known sharingan and long eyelashes that protect it. "Shisui," she whispered on a hoarse, unrecognizable voice. Her voice was strange, as if one of an unknown person. "What day is?" she whispered fearing to hear her own voice.

"Thursday," he answered. Shisui looked at the dirty girl standing on the ground with a pit in his stomach. He is generally an emotionless shinobi with no pity for anyone but she is capable to wake up emotions he never knew before. The way she sits with her knees to her chest and hands wrapped around them tells him just how tough she has it right now. No doubt anyone would dislike the smell and humidity down there but her state is just terrible. Her hair is shadowed and it is hard to say the color but her face seems dirty and her eyes have trouble focusing on him. She clearly doesn't register his presence there. "You've been here for 5 days," he tells her aware she might need clarification.

"Oh," she answers understanding. Only five days have passed since she last saw the daylight. Since she last slept. "Is it day?"

"Night."

She nodded at his answer then looked down towards darkness. Is he even really there? He feels like an illusion since the real Shisui wouldn't step in such a place willingly. And then it went through her mind that maybe Koharu decided on another punishment for her. "If you beat me," she started crossing her fingers over her knees, "can you do it outside?" She will take any beating just to see the sky again and smell the fresh air.

Those words caught him off guard. She always seemed like a weak girl but not this selfless and emotionless as now. She says things she doesn't think but the survival instinct inside her is trying to clasp on anything. How could she say he would beat her? Even he wouldn't go on with something like that. Not with her at least. "Come here," he called slipping his fingers through the bars.

Sakura didn't really see the hand but she heard some noises so she instinctively got up to reach it. Her steps were heavy and uncertain as she walked towards him, the feeling of moving seeming unfamiliar. "Am dirty," she said not touching his hand but stopping closer to him. Even her hair is no longer pink because of the mud from the walls.

She didn't blink once since he arrived there. She just looked ahead like a mad woman, seeing almost nothing and barely talking. "Don't care," he answered cupping her cheeks with both hands and forcing her to look up into his eyes. He saw no light in them as he scanned her pale green orbits. "Don't disappoint me," he hissed not liking what he sees. The only reason he came to visit her was because he was assigned to guard for the night. He thought that since he's there he could go down and see how she is but he didn't think she'll become a cracked shell. "Giving up here?" he asks trying to fire up her spirit.

Sakura shook her head once. "Need sleep," she said view becoming fuzzy.

"Then sleep," he commanded annoyed.

"Rats will eat us," she commented hearing them squeak.

"I will take care of them so sleep," he said and released her cheeks.

"Sure you don't want to beat me outside?" she asked longing to see the sky.

"Very." His fingers got caught in her tangled dirty locks. She doesn't feel human anymore but more like a clay doll which has yet to dry up.

"I really…" she started feeling the despair building up, "want to sleep…" She is getting scared of her mind. He is right there next to her, or she thinks he is, and yet she cannot see him. She feels like she stares right through him. Sometimes she can catch a glimpse of his sharingan but it shortly fades. Will she remember this? Is she really talking to him? Nothing feels real anymore.

"Lie down and sleep. I will take care of the rats," he commanded and leaned in.

"Don't," she said stepping backwards. She is the dirties thing down there and he could get ill from kissing her. "Later."

She felt like she could trust the illusion so she turned on her heels and walked back to her spot. Finally, she can rest.

"Ino…" she whispered as she sat against the wall. "You see him too?"

"Ye…" the girl replied losing his shadow in the darkness.

Shisui felt annoyed he got rejected by a shitty brat but he kept his promise and killed the rats before leaving. Before he left he saw her peacefully sleeping figure, cheek rested over her knee and hands wrapped around her legs, and his anger vanished. She feel asleep within seconds, fully trusting him although she had doubts he was real. She was most likely willing to accept anything just to be able to sleep.

It is humiliating a child woman like her has the nerves to pull back even when he is willing to ignore her smell and dirt.

* * *

"Wow," Ino expired feeling refreshed. "I wish you told me about your boyfriend," Ino commented bothered not knowing of the relationship between Sakura and Shisui.

"He isn't my boyfriend," the girl answered yawning. She has no idea for how long she slept but she feels refreshed and in her right mind again. There are no more rats there and hopefully none will appear until they finish their sentence.

"Sure. That was just pure friendship," Ino rolled her eyes. Her view was blurry too but she caught the moment he leaned to kiss her.

Sakura turned to face Ino but she could barely see her. "We are not friends either," she said realizing she has no idea what her relationship with Shisui is. They are strangers.

"Then what was that?" Ino growled envious.

Sakura looked at her feet, trying her best to label her relationship with Shisui. "He is my senpai but not quite," she uttered.

"So what about Sasuke?" she continued to question.

"What about him?"

"You liked him. Like, a lot," Ino said reaching her cup of water. Sleep can make miracles and she once again feels human. There is finally time to speak.

Sakura nodded in silence. Like is little said, she used to love him. But then this war made him look less human. "I am over that," Sakura admitted. At this point she cannot even say what love felt like. "He is not worth it."

Ino nodded kind of understanding Sakura. He is a little different but he is still a good guy. "We might not know everything. It could all be nothing but a rumor."

"Could be." Except that she saw him with different girls on different nights.

"But if he doesn't touch us then it means he thinks highly of us."

"Could be," Sakura repeated seeing the logic behind Ino's statement. Yes, Sasuke might not be the playboy she thinks and he might think highly of her but she needs him to remain disgusting so she doesn't return to that weak fan girl.

"You like Shisui-senpai?"

Sakura shrugged her shoulders. She never thought of him that way. These days he hardly crossed her mind. "I don't think I can feel love anymore."

How strange, they speak like they once used to when they were in Konoha. It is nice having girl talks once again.


	6. Chapter 6

_This chapter is not very great but hope you guys enjoy it!^^_

Shisui heard people plead for their lives before but he never heard someone ask for a beating just to get out of prison. Shisui contemplated that encounter with Sakura a lot when he found himself alone in his tent. She is a weak dirty girl but she is strong in her way. He would never plead for anything and if an enemy catches him he will stare them to death and show no sign of fear. Death is not terrifying and he would much rather feel the agony of pain than plead for his life. He is a shinobi, death is only natural. That is the way he was brought up to think and that is the only way to live his life. He never thought or cared for what is like to be at the other side, to be weak and plead. Sakura keeps forcing him to notice the other side of everything he is or does. And it hurts because seeing her at his feet is crushing his pride. He cannot say why she has such an impact on him and he cannot forget that memory. Her skinny body barely walking towards him without even properly seeing him left a heavy impact. Nobody should be allowed to corner someone to that point. Sakura is his, in a way or another, and someone crushing her like that feels hard to accept. Why? Until now he never thought his village to be wrong and there was no doubt about rules or orders. In his eyes, everything was fair until she showed up and messed everything up. He has doubts now. She was wrong and deserved a punishment but he cannot accept it. But more importantly, people shouldn't mess what belongs to him. If anything, he has more right over her than anyone out there. She belongs to him.

The Uchihas feel a strong possession towards what they believe to be theirs. This might be just a pretext but if Sakura doesn't belong to him then who has her? He is the one who saved her life, took her virginity and watched her rot in prison. The way he knows her is beyond what everyone else knows. And all is nothing but proof he has ownership over her. Nobody can show up tomorrow and say they know Sakura. That will be nothing but bullshit and he will crush the person who dare do that.

And yet, he doesn't have a damn thing because she has free will and that annoys him. If she tomorrow decides to keep him away he cannot fight that. Shisui stared at the tent top, his mind comparing the green of the forest with her green eyes. Sakura feels like a forest spirit: free and unreachable. No matter how much he tries to dye her with his color she will keep her color and show no impact of his presence. "At least…nobody has her…" Shisui bit his lower lip. As long as this war is alive nobody will truly have her but what happens afterwards? Will he become part of her past? Will he be forgotten just like everything else regarding this war? Unacceptable.

Shisui opened his eyes and stared at the tent top with his sharingan active. He can sense chakra flickers in the forest near the camp. That wouldn't be unusual since shinobi often train there regardless of the hour but tonight the forest is quiet and no sign of training going on. Shisui got on his rear and reached the bottle of water. Many things cross his mind right now but he feels relaxed, out of danger.

Finishing his bottle of water, he threw the empty recipient on the pillow and walked outside the tent with a shirt in his hand. On normal occasions he wouldn't worry much but the reality is that he was fooled before and their camp was destroyed so he does not want to size his chances. Shisui dressed the shirt as he jumped from one point to another towards the forest. He kicked the ground as he jumped towards an old tree, his sharingan scanning his surroundings. The wind is quietly making the grass wave. There is no footprint, no broken branch. Everything feels like his paranoia. Just like Sakura, everything is in his mind.

Shisui stopped on a thick tree branch above the river. The light of the moon is making the water sparkle. Shisui carefully examined his surroundings one more time before relaxing his muscles and getting sucked in by the sight of a forest spirit floating on top of the river. Pink locks are waving around her bony body as the water is carrying her with slow rocks away from his location. The moon is shining on her pale white skin making her resemble a shiny spirit. Her eyes slightly opened to suck in the sky. The green is vibrant and the reflection of the moonlight makes her eyes glister. She is breathtaking. The sky is reflected in her green orbits.

He wants her. She is the only thing he doesn't have yet and he always gets what he wants. The more he tries to ignore the feeling the stronger it gets. Feelings are not his strong point but the beating of his heart tells him more than he wants to know. He wants her and not just her body. He wants full control over her and he cannot have it. Sakura will never allow him something like that. All she can give is the body she doesn't cherish and doesn't care about. It is not enough.

As if aware of his presence there, she suddenly turned and dove to the bottom of the river, disappearing from his sight. If he didn't know better, he would say he saw an illusion and nothing was real but his mind doesn't accept fairytales. Sakura is more real than he wants to admit and her charms are terrifying. He impatiently waited for her to show up again, his feet burning to carry him to her rather than stay and wait.

Sakura looked at the darkness of the bottom, her mind blank. Being free once again feels unreal, unnatural. Only a few hours ago she was still locked up in that pit and now she is free to return to her normal life. It was dark when they were released. The ease with which she inhaled the air felt unnatural, alarming. She coughed, surprised by the sudden rush of air filling her lungs. The air was fresh and carrying all kinds of scents: grass, flowers, chakra. Guided by the stars, she went to the river and washed off all the dirt she meticulously gathered for 10 days and then she went to her tent. She felt safe there but after some time of sleeping she woke up alarmed. She felt trapped inside the crowded tent, anxious because the proximity of the walls. She needed out as soon as possible so she decided to go for another bath.

The kunoichi shook her head, pink hair waving around her cheeks. She feels human again and she cannot let darkness swallow her. Even if freedom is nothing but an illusion and her humanity is long lost, she cannot lose touch with reality. Sakura swum towards the surface, the moonlight making the water shine. She abruptly stopped as she saw the presence of a shinobi on the branch above her location. It is not comfortable knowing a man is starting at you with intent to eat you the moment he sees your body. And he is not just some man. Shisui is THE man who ate her before with no consideration.

The forest spirit appeared on the surface gradually, doubtfully. The water waved aside as the top of her head surfaced, glowing pink shining in the moonlight. Shisui patiently waited for her to fully reveal herself to him. She knows he's there. Green orbits locked his presence restraining his movements and putting a heavy pressure on his chest. Nobody can convince him she is not divine. Is she aware of the power she has over him? Does she have any idea how dangerously captivating she is? Now she reminds him of the tales where beautiful mermaids allured sailors to shipwreck and drawn trying to reach them. He is very close to jump in the water and let her possess him. Shisui bit inside his cheek to break the spell and regain consciousness. He crossed his hands over his chest and rested his back over the tree, adopting the position of a strong and unshakable shinobi.

He makes her feel like a prey. His face is serious, no emotions visible in his black eyes as he looks at her. She feels condemned. The moment he took a relaxed posture, she released the air caught in her lungs and bit her lower lip to break the spell she was under. Why is he there?

His chest is heavy and his boxers feel tight. Damn witch. Moments like this remind him how annoying she is. She should refuse her free will and let him control her. It is unfair how much control she has over him.

No word being uttered, Sakura started swimming towards the shore. She stepped outside, the wind making her shiver. Her nipples are painful hard and sensitive beneath her locks. She shook her hands and feet before bowing to grab her clothes. There is no rush, nothing to hide. If Shisui doesn't truly know her, then who does?

The location was not great after she walked outside the water. Small branches covered by thick bunches of leaves blocked the view to her chest and private parts. He saw her bent, her breasts finally visible to him but the sight was not satisfying as her hair was stuck to her skin. So he jumped on the ground, right next to her, in time to have a nice look at her ass and clit before she suddenly turned and covered her chest with her clothes.

"I am shameless," he said when she opened her mouth to say the exact same thing. "I know." He knows her well enough to guess her replies.

Sakura bit her lower lip trying to keep a blush from surfacing. When he is this close she feels embarrassment. "If you know then leave," she finally spoke. Her voice is very different from the time they met in the prison. It is soft but stern.

"Let's leave together."

Sakura bit her lower lip again and looked at the ground. "Let me dress first," she said shivering.

"I'll close my eyes," he smirked remembering the last time he said that.

Sakura glanced from him to her clothes before letting them fall on the ground. Arguing with him won't make him leave. She bent to search for her panties, thankful he is in front of her and not behind. He knows her but she still feels embarrassment. She slid the panties up, eyes catching a glimpse of his groin as she straightened her back. Their eyes locked only for a second, Shisui trying not to miss anything before her panties covered everything. Sakura cleared her throat and bent once more for the blue blouse. As she straightened up, she got caught off guard by his hands which reached out to touch her shoulders. "Stop it," she cried feeling uncomfortable under his touch and stare.

"I just want to help," he said brushing her hair away from her chest and shoulders, throwing it over her back.

"How about really closing those eyes?" she hissed taking a step back and covering her chest.

"What's the point now?" he whispered and closed the distance between them. When she is away, his chest feels cold and heavy. When she is there his chest is warm and his skin longs for more.

"Liar," she said searching her blouse to put it on.

"I never lie," he said as he leaned and rested his forehead over hers, his eyes staring at her pink nipples. "I am making sure you are safe."

Safe? He is the most dangerous beast in the forest. "Please, I had a rough time and I am not in the mood for anything."

"I will just walk you back to your tent." Annoying. She should be happy he still longs for more. Why is she so distant?

"Don't look down on me. I am not stupid."

"No, I just look down to your breasts."

Sakura rolled her eyes and pushed him away from her so she could put on the blouse. She has to fight her own urges to push him away and stay strong. But he always sticks around. She cannot understand him but she doesn't want to. The moment this war is done he will leave her behind and then she will suffer. Just like Sasuke did. The safety she feels next to him is nothing but an illusion. He doesn't care for her.

Fully dressed, they walked down the road in silence. Shisui slid his hands inside his pockets and walked close to her, sometimes brushing her shoulder to remind her that she is not alone. He longs for her attention and it is frustrating how cold and detached she is. Even if she was in hell until now, there is no excuse to treat him with so much indifference. He took care of her so her attitude is not acceptable. Shisui noticed her wet locks damping the back of her blouse. Her hair is shiny and looks smooth. Shisui reached her hair and caught it in his fist, making her abruptly stop and reach behind her to grab his hand. If only he could grab her the way he can grab her hair. It would be so easy to throw her under him and keep her there.

"What are you doing?" she asked surprised by his touch. She had a shock a moment ago and her heart is beating out of her chest.

Shisui clenched her hair harder, drops of water slipping down to the tips of her strands. She is always giving him a hard time and it is not in his character to worry about people. "You'll catch a cold." Such words normally wouldn't leave his lips.

Again. This is exactly what happened the last time they were together in her tent. Sakura's cheeks got pink so she looked ahead trying to hide her face. Not this time. She will refrain herself from jumping him. Shisui leaned in over her shoulder and whispered in her ear. "You feel nothing now?"

Sakura bit her lower lip feeling a lot more than he would expect. She feels angry he doesn't respect the distance and keeps on crossing the imaginary line of common sense that should put the space between them. She also feels a little bit excited because her skin longs for his touch but she can ignore it if he keeps his hands away. Finally, she feels disappointed he doesn't respect her and doesn't understand how tough she had it. He should know that after being down in that pit he should leave her alone but he is a selfish bastard and her feelings don't matter. There is no respect. He is annoying. "Stop it," she growled not appreciating his lips over her ear.

"I will," he promised and released her hair only to rest his palms on her shoulders. "Sakura, you disappoint me sometimes. You shouldn't be so oblivious."

A nerve pulsed on her forehead and she stormed to face him annoyed. Upon turning, she had the surprise of not seeing him anymore. He was gone, a bunch of leaves flying around her body. Her anger vanished and she looked confused in front of her. There was a sound of a bump before the branches above her started furiously tremble, leaves flying to the ground. Sakura didn't have time to look up after she heard another bump, the body of a suna shinobi landing right before her feet. She looked at the body with big eyes, surprised by how fast everything happened. She took a few steps back from the unconscious shinobi. Shisui wasn't just sexually harassing her, he was giving her signs she missed to read.

"Make sure he has no head injury," Shisui commanded as he landed next to the body. "We will take him hostage for interrogation."

What was she thinking of? Someone nearly went past her again. She kneed next to the shinobi and rested her palm above the man's head. Chakra flew through her fingers, making her nails glow. She's an idiot and it is frustrating because she knows she can do better. She has the abilities but miserably fails to put them in practice. Damn it, Shisui wasn't thinking of anything; everything was in her head. He is detached and doesn't think of her as much as she thinks of him. She is an idiot.

"You own me for this one," Shisui informed her after she finished her work. He tied the man's hands above his head and started dragging him towards the camp. Shisui was not just staring at Sakura while she was bathing. He was aware of the surroundings, searching for the unknown chakra which got him out of his tent. The man barely reached them when he actioned, so Sakura really had no time to sense him. Shisui was fast because he was long aware of the man wandering through the forest and his sharingan caught light shades of blue chakra on a tree they walked past. The man is clearly skilled since even Shisui could not locate him faster and he got lucky the man made a mistake out of necessity to move smoothly. She has nothing to feel bad about but he can use this to force her to stay close to him. He feels she is slowly drifting away from him and he cannot let that happen. If he waits to see how she will be later, it might be too late for him. That is a lose he cannot afford. If he cannot take away her free will he will restrain her moves as much as possible.

Sakura crossed her hands over her chest and walked after him. She did it again and Shisui isn't very different from Koharu. "Now what?" she asked trying to find out his intentions.

"I take this guy to Koharu and you go to sleep. You have to regain your strength for tomorrow." Not understanding her worries, Shisui disregarded her question. "And later you do me the favor." He will take advantage of the situation.

"What do you want?" she asked feeling reassurance. He really keeps her safe. And his safety is an illusion but she will accept it.

"We'll see," he answered pretending to think. It is obvious what he wants.

She knows his desires as well and it doesn't bother her as long as it is him.


	7. Chapter 7

Sometimes Shisui feels like he has an unhealthy attachment towards Sakura. The thoughts that fly through his mind whenever he thinks of her are terrifying. Itachi would agree with him that the way he thinks is wrong and sick and he should get some help. But who has time to help a sick mind?

Leaned over a tall tree and hidden in its shadow, Shisui watched Sakura with great care as she hanged a dark blue backpack on her shoulder. She scanned her tent to be in order before she turned on her heels and left for a mission away from their camp. She received a mission in Ame no Kuni and she has to leave today. But she didn't drop by to tell him this he just happened to find out. This is something that annoys him and he cannot do anything about it. He cannot go to Koharu and declare ownership over Sakura just as he cannot go to Sakura and forbid her from leaving. So all he can do is watch from afar as she disappears from his sight. Thoughts like this are terrifying and although he is aware they are wrong he cannot control them. Somewhere deep inside his heart he feels like he is entitled to feel that way.

"We have to go," Kakashi called from afar.

Shisui looked over his shoulder and nodded, agreeing that they have to move. He secured his hitai ate and with one last look towards the empty tent he disappeared in a flash. Reappearing next to Kakashi, the man glanced towards the two squats assigned to them: young faces Shisui never saw before. "The plan is to infiltrate unnoticed into the suna camp and take our revenge for destroying our camp!" he shouted catching everyone's attention. The men nodded in silence understanding from his voice that it will be a difficult mission. "We have to get back in big numbers!"

Kakashi motioned everyone to walk towards the forest. Shisui stepped aside and watched the kids drag their feet after Kakashi. They do not fully understand the danger of this mission and at their young age they hardly can take something seriously. Shisui crossed his arms over his chest and watched the boys slowly move further ahead towards the forest.

* * *

A few hours later Sakura and Hinata reached their new camp but had no time to check it out. They left their backpacks in the medical tent and off they were to the fighting field. Everything happened quite fast, they didn't even get to learn their captain's name or face. Hell, they didn't even have time to tell their friends that they are leaving for a few days. In one hour after arriving they were already fighting for their lives.

Sakura crossed her arms in front of her face to prevent a punch from blowing her head away. The punch stopped in her arms causing a wave of pain to travel all the way to her shoulders. Sakura hissed in pain but remained focused. She grabbed the enemy's arm and pulled her closer so Sakura could land a punch. The enemy lost balance only for a second. The suna threw her legs before her, landing on Sakura's chest and pushing her towards the ground. Upon hitting the hard soil Sakura felt like her lungs were crushed and could not breath. With her back dug in the ground, Sakura eyed the enemy falling towards her with her feet ahead. If that woman lands on her chest she will break her ribs and kill her on the spot. Sakura found strength to roll out of the way and prevent the kunoichi from killing her. Before Sakura could get on her side and help herself up, the kunoichi punched her in the face, breaking her nose and leaving Sakura unconscious.

Sakura used to have days when the worst thing that could happen was to be seen in public with her parents. Her father, who liked to joke about everything, often said something humiliating. Her mother always laughed at his unfunny jokes or ignore him, depending on the day. Those used to be terrible days for Sakura, especially when she was little and she had to go out with them for shopping. After she grew up, the world crumbled beneath her whenever Sasuke said something hurtful. Love suddenly became much more humiliating than her family. A boy, an asshole, who could make her happy and sad in just a few seconds had full control over her mind and feelings. Those years of love for Sasuke are now terrible nightmares and she regrets every moment of it. Today, war is the worst thing that can possible happen and nothing that happened before can compare to it. No, because now she is far from her home and safety. Because she knows that even though her parents were weak, they would've given everything to keep her safe. Her parents would always choose her safety above anything else. If only they knew how much she struggled because of a boy… But they do not know and they are better off like that. And now…there might be another boy…no, a man keeping her mind busy.

Deep inside her mind, Sakura's inner self is floating in darkness with her knees pulled at her chest. The memories of the happiest years of her life are playing in her mind. Her parents are happy, smiling and waiting for her every day to return home and have dinner together. Her father won't start eating before complimenting the food and her mother would always feel proud and appreciated. She has no memories of them being unhappy. How are they now? Do they worry about her? Can they even sleep knowing she is going through hell? Are they listing to the news every day hoping her name would not show up on the list of dead shinobi? Are they healthy? She misses them so much. Right now, she would hug her mother and tell her all the things she did just to get some quality advise from her.

The noises of a whip suddenly resonated in her mind. Her inner self frowns bothered by the sound. The good memories are being replaced by the scene where she got punished for no reason. They want to dominate her. They want to control her and make her lose her own desires. They tried to kill her from the inside but they failed. She won't let the enemy kill her now.

Sakura opened her eyes right before the kunoichi could step over her head and crush it. She grabbed the leg before hitting her and with fast moves she displaced it from the knee. The woman hissed in pain and shock. She was sure that the pink haired kunoichi will die under her weight. Trying to keep balance in only one foot, she jumped backwards hoping to put space between them. Sakura wiped the blood from her nose and mouth while getting up. Like hell she will die today!

It did not take much for Sakura to grab a kunai and aim for the kunoichi's head. With one enemy less, Sakura took in as much air as she could. She feels like she can breathe again. Bothered by the blood still rushing out of her nose, she wasted no time before placing it in the right position, healing it in process. "Not today," she promised herself. She will die, but not today.

* * *

Shisui and Kakashi watched in silence the empty land. The suna shinobi packed everything and moved their camp. They tried a surprise attack and they got surprised themselves. "Bastards," he whispered annoyed by another defeat. He used to come back a winner after every mission but this war is stomping on his pride without shame. When did they move their camp?

"I guess we will be back in a good number," Kakashi said trying to note the positive aspect about their situation.

"Yeah, but this wasn't the point," Shisui reflected looking around. The grass is tall and dry. They most likely left shortly after attacking the leaf camp and the most terrifying part is that they have no idea where they are. At this rate they can easily plan another attack and catch them off guard. How can they predict where the attack will come from if they have no idea where to look?

Shisui took another step further, looking for clues. Noticing a white piece of paper, he kneed closer to it to see what the suna left behind. The first instinct was to grab it but right before doing that he realized that was no ordinary paper. The suna left behind a trap. Shisui got up and turned, shouting towards his men, "Don't get closer!" he screamed but it was too late. It was enough for one boy to step on one explosive tag and trigger all the explosions at once.

Kakashi grabbed Shisui's collar and pulled him back in a jump, preventing the sudden outburst of fire from burning them. Landing a few meters behind, they watched in horror their men burn alive, rushing outside the fire, desperate to save their lives. They were burning alive, running all over the place to put the fire off, screaming and crying in pain.

Kakashi and Shisui performed quick hand seals and finished the jutsu by resting their palms on the ground. The earth started shaking and small holes appears all over the place, water rushing out and over the fire and men. "Still think we will all return?" Shisui asked feeling sick from the smell of burnt skin. Kakashi slowly turned his head to look at Shisui. He doesn't know what to think at this point.

* * *

Sakura rested on the ground, close to the kunoichi she just killed. Another death to count and have nightmares with. It just never stops. Every time she leaves for a fight she promises herself that today it will be different and that she will not kill anyone but every day she lies to herself. The only way to put a stop to a fight and to the pain is by killing the one causing it. Sakura looked over her shoulder at the woman who was lying on the ground with eyes and mouth wide open. She did not expect it. Sakura didn't expect it either. "Fuck," she mumbled. It is not sadness what she feels after every death but relief. Somebody has to die so she can feel like this. Otherwise, there is no end to the fighting. But next time she will bear it and restrain herself from killing.

The sound of a rock being slightly kicked caught Sakura's attention, making her jump on her feet with a kunai in her hand, turned towards the enemy. Her eyes fell upon a kid who was trying to catch her from behind. Her muscles relaxed and lips parted in surprise. The kid shouldn't be older than 13. Only now she realizes how important a 4 year gap is. 4 years ago she wouldn't have managed it for so long. 4 years ago she was a foolish girl who hoped to catch someone from behind just like this kid.

The two just stared at each other for a few moments. Sakura was torn between wanting to pretend she did not see the kid and desire to kill him. Just when Sakura was ready to completely relax, the kid started shouting, running her way. "Oh, fuck," she murmured exasperated by the situation. Now what?

* * *

Kakashi rushed to call the medics left behind at the safe point. Shisui just stood there, watching those still alive moaning and crying. Everything is fucked up now. How is he going to explain how he failed to see the danger and leaded everyone to their deaths? He can't. He won't. Somebody will have a talk with him but other than words, nothing more will happen. They cannot punish him for that. They cannot punish him regardless of the reason. They need him. Shisui bit his lips annoyed. Idiots. He just did more damage than anyone else and someone like Sakura got punished for saving lives.

The medics rushed to the wounded while Kakashi hurried back at the camp to call more help. Shisui remained motionless, watching the medics trying in vain to save lives. Now what?

One of the boys reached his hand up, pointing at Shisui. The man finally moved and walked to grab the hand. "It's….your….fault…." he moaned in pain, tears washing his burnt face.

"I know," he admitted. He messed everything up and it is his fault but what can he do now? He regrets it but it is not enough to sadden him. After years of taking top secret missions he cannot be moved by the scene playing before his eyes. He saw worse things and at this point nothing can move his heart anymore. Life showed him all the terrible and horrific things a shinobi can do for the sake of a mission and this situation is a mild one compared to what he saw or did to others before. It's just not enough to make him pity anyone. This is not the first squat he cannot save and most likely not the last one. He is already way to used to death. He is a shinigami to many and people have their fears whenever they see Shisui is their captain. They are scared to be both his enemy and colleague. This is life. There were suna shinobi who killed themselves before his eyes so they wouldn't have to fight him. Again, this is how people perceive him. What can he do? Despite this, he has everyone's respect and admiration. He just does not understand how that is possible.

But good things can still reach him. Sakura, can reach him. She can still sadden him or make him happy and that is a relief for him. As long as he has her and his family he will not get swallowed by darkness. There are still things worth fighting for.

The boy's hand became limp in his grip, bringing Shisui back to reality. He died. Not even in his last moments Shisui wasn't capable of properly paying attention. Who knows what else the kid said and he didn't even hear?

* * *

They won. They captured a new territory in only a few days of fighting. There was no monster like Naruto or Itachi to manage such a fight. They literarily did it on their own and the satisfaction is unbearable. When they heard the siren they knew they won despite not having killed all the suna shinobi there. Sakura was in the middle of a fight when she heard the sound. The enemy spat on the ground and released his weapons on the ground. There was no point in fighting anymore. He lost.

The suna left alive were captured for interrogation. Killing them would've been better and Sakura knows how to show mercy but she just couldn't take another life for the day. She leaned over a nearby tree after the shinobi threw his weapons and exhaled relaxed. They really won.

After a few leaf shinobi came to catch the suna and she was left alone, Sakura closed her dried eyes and leaned to the ground. Those were the worst days of the month and she got so much beating that she is all black and blue beneath her clothes. "But it is still not done," she said to remind herself that this isn't the end. More bruises are to come and more pain is left for her to feel.

"Sakura-san," Hinata called jumping from a nearby tree. Sakura attempted to look at Hinata but finding it to painful, she kept her eyelashes together and just nodded. "It is over," the girl said leaning on the same tree as Sakura. "It really is." Hinata's eyes are full of hope and happiness. She feels so relieved and safe and proud of all the good work they all did.

"For now," Sakura reminded knowing that Naruto and the others are fighting at the other side.

Hinata nodded but remained hopeful. "Shikamaru got hurt," she said remembering the incident.

"Is he fine?" Sakura's heart grew smaller.

"Yes, he receives help as we speak. He hurt his leg in a trap but his life is not in danger."

Sakura nodded. "I see. I am glad."

* * *

"Hate…is a strong feeling," Shisui admitted finding himself contemplating about what happened during his last mission. He hates the sunas for making him look like a loser. And he hates himself for not being able to pay attention to the boy who died while speaking with him.

"This is our curse," Itachi reminded.

"Itachi…." Shisui started carefully considering his words. "Nevermind." Itachi wouldn't care for his personal life.

If only he hadn't slept with Sakura. If only he hadn't paid her so much attention. Because of her he has regrets he never had before and he cannot forget everything he learned. Since when does he knee next to a dying man and takes his hand? Damn witch.

_Whenever I read the reviews my heart grows! Thank you guys for your support! 3 _


	8. Chapter 8

Sakura threw her backpack in her tent and with a towel in her hand she slowly walked towards the river. It is around midnight and the camp is quiet. She just arrived back from Ame no Kuni and she feels tired and powerless. These past weeks have been complete hell for her and she never thought that life as a war shinobi could get any worse. She was getting used to the bad food, poor conditions and hard work but then someone decided to whip some more hardship on her back and shortly afterwards throw her in Ame no Kuni and make her fight and heal with almost no rest. This is inhumane and outrageous but who cares about her life? She is nothing but a sharp weapon which has to be used until blunt and then thrown away. It hurts knowing this.

The kunoichi kneed on the shore and watched her reflection. Konoha took away her smile, her trust and everyone dear to her without proper explanations. She is sometimes scared to smile because people will see that as a sign of weakness. Come to think of it, when did she last smile? She can remember the night she worked with Shisui, guarding the camp, and he said something that made her smile. She attempted to hide it from him but the smile was there, tingling her lips. It is not often that she thinks of him, that she remembers something good that happened in his company. Everything seems bitter-sweet about him, intimidating. Sakura bit her lower lip. What does he really think of her? Her reflection always seems small and insignificant in his eyes and it is hard to tell what he really thinks of her.

Sakura sighed and got up. She longs for a bond with someone and even being friends with Shisui sounds a lot better than what they are now. "It's not love…" she whispered and turned to return to her tent. After all, she is no longer capable of positive feelings.

Upon turning she nearly had a shock but she remained emotionless as her eyes locked with Sasuke's. They silently looked at each other, Sakura secretly hoping he did not hear her. She doesn't know how to interact with Sasuke these days. Once the greatest love of her life, now the most difficult person to be close to. But Ino is right, he might not be as grotesque as she wants to think. Maybe he, just like her, needed to feel something. She ended up sleeping with a random man she hardly knew so how can she condemn Sasuke for what he does?

"Hi," she finally spoke.

"Hi," he replied and took a step further.

The silence felt heavy for both of them. Each of them shares a regret they cannot escape. Sasuke regrets not being able to be the imaginary man Sakura always thought of him and Sakura regrets not being able to be strong and distant when they were in the village.

If she were stronger, he would've thought highly of her and dated her.

If he were different, a relationship could've actually worked but he is not the sweet and careful kind of man.

They looked at each other thinking about their faults. Regrets which shouldn't bother them. He is the boy he always was and he shouldn't let it bother him just because he couldn't change to her desires. Just as that was Sakura's way of showing her love for him. Nothing that they can change.

But he could've been nicer and less arrogant.

But she could've been less annoying and give him space.

"Just came back?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes…" she replied shrugging her shoulders and looking away.

What's the point now? This is how they were and this is how they are now. Why cry over an unchangeable past? Still, it is funny how both of them walk on the same path now and still don't match. They can sleep with other people but not with each other.

"Let's walk back together," he proposed and waited for her to move.

Sakura shrugged her shoulders again and silently walked towards him. They want to talk but they have nothing in common these days. The few missions they share together are not worth mentioning.

Sakura changed, Sasuke noticed as he took a glance at her. She matured up quite a lot and everything about her seems different. Her eyes seem greener than before, shiny and captivating. Long hair suits her perfectly. She is no longer loud and without boundaries. It's nice. If only she were like this from the beginning. "Sakura," he started and grabbed her wrist. "We could work on something now." The words left his mouth before he could even consider them. But it is fine because she is Sakura, the girl with undying love for him who wouldn't judge him.

Feeling his fingers wrapping around her wrist made her heart skip a beat. It wasn't because she was nervous but because she was surprised and didn't know how to react. They were never intimate and Sasuke always made it clear that she was weak and annoying. What did surprise her however, were his words which fell like a mountain over her chest. She never thought such a day would actually come, not even in her dreams. This is too realistic to be true.

Sakura scanned Sasuke's serious face, searching for something that can tell her that he doesn't care for her. "Why now?" she asked cautiously.

Sasuke shrugged his shoulders as he looked away. He didn't expect her to say anything other than a 'yes'. That is what she wants after all. "Why not? We are both single and could use some company." He can guess she is a virgin but even Sakura would want some release. It should be even better from the person she likes.

Despite having no expectations she was disappointed by his words. She knew he didn't like her and it didn't take a genius to guess that. He never liked her and he never bothered to have a good look at her. "Is it sex?" she insisted deciding she will not assume anything. Sasuke was never good with words.

"Don't you want it?" He had no ill intent when he answered. He likes the way she is now but at the end of the day she is not the Uchiha he dreams off. As long as she is an outsider to his clan he cannot consider her as more than a teammate, a friend and an attractive woman to spend time with. His dad will never accept her and she will only suffer if he gave her hope. So he will be honest about his intentions from the beginning.

Sakura didn't think her chest could still hurt because of him. She stopped thinking about Sasuke long ago and she decided he is a disgusting man who deserves nothing but her hate and yet she still hurts. She hurts because he didn't keep his distance. Ino told her he thinks highly of them and that is why he didn't make a move on them and now here he is trying to break her apart. "All of you like to play with me…" she whispered annoyed. All the Uchiha men try to take control over her and burry her alive in regret and despair. Thankfully, she is no longer the weak and naive girl she used to be. Maybe old Sakura would've done it in hope he will start loving her but this Sakura is smarter. Thank God war hit them before she destroyed her life and committed suicide because of it. Sasuke will only drive her to despair and she now knows how to avoid unneeded pain. Shisui is more than enough when it comes to pain. "I loved you," she started feeling a little nostalgic, "and I respected you as a friend, colleague and teammate but you always looked down on me. Even now, you are a selfish jerk who has no consideration for others." He could've respected her.

"Sakura, it cannot be more than this. You never wanted to understand it. I am giving you the only thing I can," he defended himself.

Sakura took a deep breath and bit her lower lip. "You didn't want to give me more because…" _you didn't love me_, she finished her line in her head. There, now she capable of facing reality. He didn't love her and because of that no compromise was possible. She swallowed harshly realizing that despite everything she ever did, he didn't notice her. It was her family name. It was her lack of sharingan. It was her stupid and annoying attitude that drove him away. She drove him away. It hurts realizing that all her good intent and struggles just pushed him away. Sasuke needs an independent woman not a clingy child. The way she is now could've worked for him but it is too late. He will never see her more than Sakura – annoying fan girl. She made him not love her and she has to live with that. At least she has Shisui now and this is the only version he knows.

Her eyes grew big as she realized the thoughts that went through her mind. Again, she thinks of him and wants more from him than what they have. But she cannot name what she wants from Shisui. Despite their rough relationship, she finds comfort in the pain he caused her and that makes her feel alive. What more could she want?

"Sakura?" Sasuke called impatient.

"…because you have to live up to your family's expectations," she finally finished her line. "And I get it. I bet sex would be nice but I will pass." And she walked pass him and left him behind. She won't cling to her past anymore.

There, she finally said goodbye to her stupid past self. She won't go back to that weak little brainless girl. She would much rather have sex with a stranger than with the boy she loved but hurt her.

"Sakura," Sasuke called as she reached her tent. He once again grabbed her wrist and pulled her to turn towards him. She turned without effort and stared into his eyes. He cannot hurt her anymore. "Don't overthink what just happened." He doesn't think she is a weak woman anymore. And he doesn't think she is a lewd woman. He wants to make it clear to her.

Before Sakura could answer him, a hand rested on Sasuke's shoulder, catching them off guard and nearly making them reach their weapons. "Koharu called for you," Shisui said looking into his cousin's eyes as Sasuke turned his head.

Sasuke nodded once and turned towards Sakura. "Later then," he said and disappeared with a jump.

Shisui remained there motionless as he looked ahead. Sakura didn't look above his chin, trying her best to avoid eye contact. She did nothing wrong and she has nothing to be ashamed of but she worries because he might've heard something.

Shisui blankly looked above her head. He cannot look at her face because he fears he might hurt her. Anger is not the right word for the feeling burning inside him. Koharu wanted to see Sasuke tomorrow but the moment he found the two together he just couldn't hold it in anymore. He jumped to part the two as if there was an explosive tag he had to remove from the ground. "Don't overthink what?" he spoke restraining his anger. She just created a tornado of feelings inside him; feelings he doesn't even recognize. Fear? He fears he might hurt her? Since when?

Sakura shrugged her shoulders. Her heart feels very small. "Nothing in particular." Shisui doesn't need to know how she used to love Sasuke. Those are really embarrassing times of her life.

Shisui rested his palm over his chest. He never felt this before. He is not breathing regularly, and this is not a fight so why is he like this? Why does he feel like he has to grab Sakura and take her away from other men? He feels again the need to possess her and take away her free will. Why? It took him only a glance at the two to get angry. He is this close to hurting her. He cannot ignore the feeling and he finds it really hard to restrain his hands from grabbing her. Fuck! She just came back and she is already fucking him up. And she lies to him too. Annoying witch.

"I am tired and want to sleep," she said, cheeks slightly pink. She can ignore what happened with Sasuke but she cannot help but overthink Shisui's attitude. Does he care? Her thoughts were shaken by the brutality with which Shisui grabbed her elbow as she stepped in line with him and kept her still. Her poker face fell like a mask and broke the moment their eyes met. Red eyes fixed her with intent to burn her alive. It is brutal and painful but it makes her happy. When was the last time she was truly happy that someone actually cared?

His restraint lasted until she moved to leave. The moment she announced she wanted leave, he heard something snap inside his mind and he grabbed her with intent to hurt her. Shisui was naïve to think he was the only one to notice Sakura. She is young, captivating and a well known kunoichi in the village. Who knows how many are there that want what he has? But he is not nice enough to share her. Everything about Sakura belongs to him and she has no right to move without his consent. If this is the only way then he will be forceful and restrain her as much as possible. "I don't like lies," he growled. She is very bad news. Sakura makes him feel insecure and powerless and this is not the shinobi way of living he is used to. Why can't he just turn his back and walk away as he did countless times in his past? Women came and stayed a while but when they wanted more, he pushed them away. But not Sakura.

"Why do you care anyway?" she roared back. Why is she defensive? He notices her and that is more than she could wish for.

Why? Because his whore cousin was touching her and telling her things he doesn't understand. He wants to know more about Sakura and about her relationships with others. Maybe this is why she lingers in his mind: she doesn't want more. For once he feels like he could give more and she doesn't need him to. And he is sure it is not because she understands him so well and gives him space. It is because she simply doesn't care to have more. "I don't," he told her and released his grip. "Good night." He needs a break from her to think it through. Why would he even want to give her more? She is a child-woman who just happened to cross his path.

Shisui turned on his heels and walked away from her, leaving Sakura confused. She watched his back as he left her behind. What just happened? Seconds ago he was angry and now he doesn't care? Sakura clenched her fists annoyed with herself. Why did she say that? She was so happy that he asked and wanted to know more about her. It was her chance to open up but she just couldn't.

She wanted to walk after him and talk to him but she couldn't move. If he walks away then she will not run after him and explain to him things he doesn't care about. Even if she wants to…

* * *

Attachment is a strong feeling with which most Uchihas struggle since childhood and until death. In Shisui's case, he started this struggle only three months ago when he got to know Sakura. The beautiful medic who always spoke with confidence and took care of his subordinates presented no interest to him until reality hit Shisui like an earthquake. She presented to him a reality he was oblivious of and now he cannot unlearn that. He never struggled and everything was easy to him: he was born with talent, he learned fast and he had a strong clan watching his back. But other people don't have anything and yet they manage to evolve. Like Sakura. Born to a weak family and with no abilities, Sakura turned into a strong shinobi with good fighting and medical skills. Without this war he wouldn't have noticed her. It is alarming when he thinks just how close he was to miss her; to miss knowing how the world really works.

It is also alarming how she managed to mess him up in such a short while and give him such a headache. Last night is still hunting him and he feels worse than then. If last night he was angry and jealous of Sasuke, now he is embarrassed of how he acted. Late at night, alone in his tent and with the memory of the two together, Shisui thought a lot of what drove him to that state. He recognized jealousy with ease and he was truly surprised someone like him could feel like that. He always had the power to overcome everything that came his way. His name alone means strength! But that feeling took control with so much ease, breaking his restraint and years of control over emotions.

He fell asleep hoping there was nothing between Sakura and Sasuke. Usually he doesn't hope, he has the power to make it happen but with Sakura…she ignores everything he is and everything he wants to be. She doesn't see him the way he wants her too and after realizing that he got angry with himself because he became confused. What the hell did he want her to see? So today he is a mess and he feels grateful there is no mission for him.

Shisui checked the freshly sharpened kunai one more time before throwing it in the pile with the others. The raven haired man tsked noticing a thin line on his shuriken. He has been taking good care of his weapons and yet he managed to waste one. He tsked again and threw the shuriken in the pile with the other sharpened weapons. He looked at the sky then around him and could not help but notice how quiet and relaxing everything became. The sky is clear, the sun is warm, the wind is pleasant and the air is fresh. Everyone is quite relaxed, no explosions nearby to keep them on guard. Most of the wounded have healed. It almost feels like…peace. But peace is a piece of crap and it will most likely break into another war and all of these days will be for nothing. Shisui finished sharpening another kunai, this time the weapon had no defects, making him feel proud of his well kept collection of deadly weapons. Really, what is wrong with him?

Shisui kneed down and started gathering his weapons into a backpack, nicely sorting them in different compartments. He even had time to clean his backpack and let it dry up under the sun. Now it smells better and he does not feel like he is carrying a bag of corpses on his back. These activities kept his mind busy and away from her.

"There is something strange about you," Itachi noticed seeing Shisui whistling on his own while cleaning his stuff. "Have you had something to drink?" he insisted.

"Water."

That was not it, Itachi concluded seeing his cousin and best friend in such a good mood. Shisui never whistles. Nothing good happened other than a quiet day. And even so, Shisui doesn't whistle. Never.

Sakura messed him up completely. It was bad enough he began to doubt her and what they had but now she even made him doubt himself. And he cannot shake the feeling off because he never dealt with anything similar. He has no confidence anymore because Sakura won't open up. She simply won't give him a single word of reassurance. She lets him struggle on his own like the heartless witch she is. It is hard for him to deal with feelings as strong as these. He didn't even realize when he started seeing her in a different way.

"Ever dated?" Shisui asked getting up with the backpack in his hand. He knows Itachi has a secret relationship with Izumi so if Itachi lies he will just keep on asking anyway.

"A little…" Itachi answered surprised by Shisui's question. They are friends but they never talked about women before. Shisui was never the kind of person to care about dating and everything the man did was superficial.

"Have you ever been jealous?" Shisui continued. If he cannot ask Itachi then he cannot ask anyone else. For the sake of putting out the fire inside him he must sacrifice a little of his pride. Sakura crushed most of it anyway.

Itachi didn't want to answer but under Shisui's eyes he felt he had a duty to do it. "A few times but…"

"And did it make you angry?" Shisui cut off Itachi's excuse as he didn't care for it.

"I guess…" Itachi looked away. Shisui's interrogation is really heavy and this is not a topic he likes. Especially since it comes from the coldest man in the camp who never liked another person. And his relationship is a secret and nobody should know about it.

"How did you get over it?"

"Shisui, how about you speak with her and clear things up?" Itachi sighed. His personal life is no example to others and he is not exactly the best person to help Shisui.

"I can't," he said and walked ahead. If he could talk with Sakura he wouldn't be here asking Itachi. "She is free to do whatever she wants." She doesn't belong to him. She doesn't want to be his.

* * *

"So annoying," Sakura growled throwing some bandages in their rightful box. Today they received supplies and only her, Ino and Hinata are there to arrange everything in the medical tent. They have to sort them and place them in easy to reach places so in case of emergency they know where to go. "Out of all days, they chose to arrive today, when we are the only ones here."

"You sure are in a bad mood today," Ino concluded observing Sakura mistreating the bandages. "What is wrong?"

"Nothing, Ino!" she road. "Mind your business." Sakura threw the last bandage in the box and left with it to place it closer to the rest of the supplies. She is angry. After a bad sleep and a lot of thinking she is ready to wipe the Uchiha clan. Sasuke dared to propose empty sex although he knew her feelings. Shisui dared to leave her like that with no explanation. Damn bastards!

"Guess her period came," Ino said making Hinata blush. The girl looked down so her bangs could cover her face and her embarrassment. "Relax. We are both women."

Sakura returned just in time to see Ino more concerned with Hinata than work. "Hey pig, if you are not up to work get out."

The three kept silence and minded their work. Sakura sighed growing annoyed. Why did he simply leave like that? She knows her fault and she regrets it but the Shisui she knows wouldn't give up because of her feelings. If her feelings were important to begin with they wouldn't have done anything! Sakura placed down an empty box and started folding more bandages. She thinks of him more often and it is infuriating how she cares so much about him. She isn't even close to him so why bother so much?

"What is wrong with this silence," she muttered looking around. The tent is literarily empty and the silence is making her think. She doesn't want to think!

"Watch it," Ino threatened. "I prefer this than fighting."

Sakura looked over her shoulder at her friend who was still glaring at her. "That is because you didn't do much," she bit back.

Ino smashed the box on the ground completely annoyed and ready to throw Sakura a punch right in the nose. "What is wrong with you? If you have only bad things to say, get out!" the girl growled pointing to the exit.

Hurt by Ino's outrage, Sakura closed her mouth and focused her attention on work. They don't understand her. Nobody understands what she is going through right now. Even she has problems understanding.

"I prefer peace," Hinata said to Ino as she was the only one capable of carrying a decent conversation. Sakura, who was there but counting the bottles of medicine, focused her hearing on their conversation so she was not left out. Hinata wanted to say more but knowing that people could hear her, she left it only to that. She never killed a man during their fights, just knocking them out as she was never capable of assuming responsibility for taking lives. She does not want blood on her hands and she is not ready, nor will she ever be, to carry the image of those whom she killed. Having nightmares and seeing those men dead because of her are images she does not want in her mind.

"I miss those days back in the village," Ino said daydreaming at the mornings her mom would wake her up and tell her she has to go to the academy.

"Maybe soon," Sakura interfered although she was not part of that conversation. Although annoying, she misses her father's unsalted jokes and her mother's embarrassing foolishness. How many times have they embarrassed her in front of Kakashi because they could not fully understand the job of a shinobi?

"Say, have you met you friend who isn't your friend or lover and maybe a senpai but not quite?" Ino asked remembering about Shisui.

"Last night."

"Oh, do share," Ino said biting her lips excited. There is chemistry between the two, there is no denying it so why is Sakura so oblivious?

"Told ya, we are not like that." Sakura closed the box with medicine and carried it further in the tent until she found a safe spot to deposit it. Being a big tent, they have to deposit medicine and bandages in several locations to be easier to reach in time. She cannot tell Ino or Hinata she is a sleeping with Shisui. What would they think? First she gave her heart to Sasuke and now is giving even her body to a man she is not close to? They will judge.

"Really?" Ino enquired checking the list of supplies they received. She knows Sakura wouldn't do anything with their senpai but for some reason she has doubts. "That's a pity." Hinata quietly listened to the conversation, not up to date with whom they were speaking of. All she knew was that Sakura liked Sasuke but given that they are the same age, he is definitely not the senpai Ino was mentioning.

"Told you before, you can have Sasuke."

"I don't want him."

A nerve pulsed on Sakura's forehead, annoyed again at her friend. "Really, pig? Now you play this game?"

"Shut up! I am not playing anything. I just…" she blushed looking away from Sakura, "…might have found someone else… That's all."

"Oh," Sakura exclaimed calming down. "That is very wise." Sasuke is a jerk and he does not deserve a decent girl. Remembering last night and she gets angry all over again!

The two remained in silence as they minded their own business. Ino was boiling hoping Sakura would ask her more because she wants to tell everything, unlike her friend. However, Sakura did not ask anything about this new guy. She obviously wanted to know but at the same time she did not want to put pressure on Ino the same way the blond put on her. If she wants to say, she will say it without her forcing the woman to speak.

"Who?" Hinata asked lifting the rock from Ino's heart. She is really curious.

"Sai…" she whispered right away.

"From one jerk to another?" Sakura exclaimed and realized only after that she put it the wrong way. But seriously, Sai is a jerk and makes bad jokes and sexually harasses everyone! "Sorry," Sakura said raising her palm to stop Ino from barking back. "It went out wrong. I wanted to say he is difficult sometimes." Extremely annoying and unbearable, actually.

"I like his truthfulness. It is rare these days."

Ino's words silenced Sakura. If she puts it like that, although painful to hear, Sai does say only the truth.

"So are you dating?" Hinata kept on asking.

Sakura snorted as an answer in Ino's place. "Date? We are in the middle of hell. Dating is a little out of place." If fighting together can be considered dating, then she has been dating Shisui too. And it is funny cause they have no relationship or reason to date. And now it is really sad cause they are strangers…

"True…we didn't label our relationship but we do see each other." The three girls remained in silence, thinking of what they could've done if it weren't for the war.

"Then what do you do?" Hinata continued really curious.

The question was for Ino but Sakura froze still and felt ashamed of herself. She is really embarrassed because of this topic but she must not show it.

"Nothing….much…" Ino blushed and covered her face with her hands. Hearing Sakura snort behind her made Ino forget embarrassment and turn towards her friend. "What? Got anything to say?" she growled.

"No, am sure you guys just talk." And she has no doubts but her words made Ino defensive.

"Yes, as if meeting with Shisui-senpai in the middle of the night is more decent."

Hinata blushed and turned around. Sakura is meeting a much older man than she was expecting and the way Ino put it is making her feel bad. She made no progress with Naruto and her friends already have boyfriends.

"Quiet pig, someone could hear you." But she didn't deny anything.

* * *

Shisui finished his sake as soon as he got it. He sat and before Itachi could do the same the bottle was already half empty. Today was a very normal day and he hates it. He cannot stand peace anymore! If he doesn't crush something his feelings will crush him. He is sick of thinking about Sakura and his feelings. Before that witch, he used to live a really quiet life with only a few feelings guiding his life. Now he feels fear, doubt, jealousy and worse of all he feels powerless. He simply cannot understand Sakura and he cannot understand why he even bothers. The girl is a total mess and she doesn't need him in her life!

"Who is she?" Itachi asked as he started to eat. He wanted to keep everything a mystery but he burns to know who managed to warm Shisui's heart. There are a few kunoichi he can think of that would really look good next to Shisui.

Shisui carefully considered his next words. He is not ashamed to say it is Sakura - she put him through worse - but he is aware of the age gap between them. He doesn't want to give her a bad reputation and he doesn't want to seem too interested in her. He is Uchiha Shisui after all.

The man lost his chance to answer as Sakura and her friends sat across the table. She made sure to sit right in front of Shisui, aiming for the spot the moment she saw him. She asked Ino and Hinata to sit with her there and asked them to act natural. Sakura wants to sit close to him and talk. They never truly talk and it is annoying.

"The tee is decent," Ino commented spooning it. God, she is, thrilled! Sakura actually asked them to sit with her senpai-but-not-quite! She'd be damned if she lost a chance to see Sakura embarrass herself in front of a much older man. So exciting!

Sakura silently nodded and kept looking at her meal. She is not confident enough to make their eyes meet. He might not appreciate her presence there. So why did she even ask everyone to sit there? Did she think that Shisui will throw his meal aside and lean over the table to kiss her? Well, it is not like she wants a kiss and she doesn't really care what he does but it would be nice. She could say something but she doesn't want to seem too interested in his life.

She was not wrong. The moment she sat in front of him his mind froze. He couldn't answer Itachi anymore and he couldn't even look away from his food. He stiffened up like a rock. There were other tables so why sit with him? Shisui mentally cursed. What is she thinking?

"So?" Itachi insisted growing curious. He completely ignored the girls sitting across them, although he nodded in recognition to Ino and Hinata, as they were the only ones to look at him. Itachi didn't even notice how Shisui froze still with the chopsticks in his hand.

"Not now," Shisui answered and looked up to make sure Sakura didn't catch their conversation. At that moment she also happened to look towards him and when their eyes locked, everything around them vanished. They silently stared at each other, both of them burning to say something.

Itachi didn't need more. It was quite easy for him to read the long stare between Shisui and Sakura to understand what his cousin got himself into. At this point he doesn't even want to know because what those two have is not exactly legal or acceptable. He knows, or hopes, Shisui kept his hands to himself but if he didn't he really doesn't want to know. As a former police officer and as a future clan leader, he is better off not charging his friend with anything.


	9. Chapter 9

"Well that was for nothing," Ino commented as they took their trays away.

"Ino-chan..." Hinata cried feeling bad for Sakura. She knows how her friend must feel, Naruto ignores her all the time. She made no progress either.

Sakura left her plates and friends behind and walked out of the tent. He ignored her. They stared at each other for a while and after that he turned back to his meal and said nothing. Sakura looked at the clouded sky searching for her next move. Damn…

Shisui walked outside in time to see Sakura seizing the sky. He is a mess of a man because of her and the worst part is that he cannot unlearn what she unintentionally taught him. Shisui stepped in line with her, hands in his pockets and eyes staring at the sky. Damn, he longs to speak with her. "You changed," he said not looking at her.

Sakura bit her lower lip and swallowed harshly. "So did you," she answered back. He used not to care and that selfishness somehow satisfied her; she liked the way he forced her although she didn't want anything to do with him. For once she feels like that was all she ever needed in this mess of a world and it is scary thinking she might lose that. He cared little for her but at least he filled her with something. This war has not filled her with anything but instead it crushes her to pieces.

Indeed, he changed as well. He used not to care and although he lacked and missed a lot, he felt satisfied. He didn't need to know all he knows now because as far as he was concerned, the village was perfect. Now he knows how small his world was and how satisfied he was with so little.

"Nothing…" she whispered as she looked down. Shisui raised a questioning eyebrow and tilted his head to look at her. "With Sasuke, it was nothing," she clarified. "We buried the past."

"And you lie to my face saying it was nothing," he said growing angry.

"It was nothing," she insisted turning to face him. "And we agreed it will never be." She can admit this much without feeling bad. She wants to clarify things up without giving too much info. He wanted to know and she wants to tell him.

He will believe her only for the sake of a good night sleep. Shisui didn't answer and he looked away from her. Such simple words are enough to lift the fog around his mind. "Not my business anyway."

"I know." This is fine. He doesn't need to be honest and she doesn't need to say more. Their relationship is not based on trust and care. What they have is just perfect. Now all he needs to do is be a little selfish and take her as he used to. Except that he won't. He can't. Not when he feels the way he does. "Come," she called as she walked ahead, towards the forest.

Shisui scanned his surroundings before he follow the forest spirit through the forest. She looks small and petite, the body of a young girl who has no experience with men. But she is still good when it comes to playing with his mind and heart. She makes him feel alive and it is not pleasant. Living means feeling and he had enough of that. It all started as sex and now they walk towards something that is much more than that. It starts having meaning and he doesn't like it. He wasn't raised to feel things and his parents, although good and caring people, wanted him to focus on becoming a strong shinobi and bring pride to his clan. They didn't really bother to teach him what and how to feel and he grew up knowing only the theory of life. When he was old enough to notice women, he was someone and they glued to him without him even bothering to speak with them. He enjoyed some good nights with women he never met before or after. It was convenient for him and he didn't need to bother with feelings. Although it did not happen often, he knew what sex was and he learned how to please a woman. He felt powerful. He felt like a god. And like any god he knew nobody could touch him. But Sakura did touch him in ways he didn't expect. He worked for the first time to convince a woman to sleep with him and he miserably failed to please her every time but she stayed around regardless. She accepted the pain he had to offer and allowed him to fill her with that.

Sakura is more human than he ever was. She learned the hardships of life and knew everything he missed to notice about his village. Maybe that is why she accepted his pain as being normal and never once attempted to stop him. Just like others, he read in her eyes she was breaking apart but ignored it and continued on using her with no regards. She was used her whole life and she is not the only one. Only now he knows what being human is about and he understands that his life was nothing but a damn privilege. In his eyes, she will never look as a weak woman but as a strong one who managed to teach the sharpest blade how to gently groom flowers. Humans do feel powerless and doubt themselves regardless of the matter. In his case, Sakura is the weakness he cannot escape and most likely doesn't want to leave behind. She is his regardless of what she wants and he will have to make sure she understands that it is unforgivable to get close to other men. He wants power over her so he doesn't forget what being human is about.

Upon reaching the river, Sakura turned on her heels and pushed Shisui to the nearest tree. She wouldn't have managed to move him if it weren't for the curiosity throbbing inside him. He stepped backwards without second thoughts and allowed her to have her way with him. His back rested over the tree trunk, hands still in his pockets and he patiently waiter for her next move.

Sakura rested her forehead over his chest and looked down, cheeks slightly pink. She stared at the ground trying to gather courage for what she had planed. It is not easy when she has to make the first move.

Shisui could've helped her but instead he patiently waited for her to move. Whenever he touches her he hurts her so this is her chance to do it to her liking. He hopes it is not talking and that she has more planned that sharing useless thoughts and feelings. He had enough of those and he could use a hot body beneath him.

But Sakura didn't have any plans on being beneath him. She took a deep breath and gently stroke his thighs with her fingers. Her hands are inexperienced and sloppy but she wants to give him something. She fears she is losing him and she cannot stand the idea. What else can she offer other than her body? She has nothing to teach him and she is way below his level but her body seems to be of interest to him so she will gladly give it away for him. Just…all she wants is to feel something other than the pain of living.

Shisui held in a sight when her hands stopped from caressing him. He doesn't want to take the lead and for the first time he doesn't even want to do it if she doesn't do something. He was about to take his hands out of his pockets and push her away when Sakura grabbed his member through the pants. He wanted it but he was still surprised she was bold enough to do it. The strokes are gentle and light, not necessarily pleasing but enough to awaken his member.

Just as she grabbed it she suddenly released his growing penis and helped his hands out the pockets. He moved as she wanted and wondered what she had planned for him when she surprised him by grabbing his trousers and pants and pulling them down as she kneed. She looked up, their eyes locking in a long stare. She read lust in his eyes and that gave her confidence to travel her hands up and grab his member, eyes still locked. His lips parted a little to release a whisper of a moan. She kept on rubbing while scanning his face. He is not the kind of man to show too much on his face, she is aware of that, but she can tell from his lips that he enjoys the moment. When her grip got tighter around his member, he closed his eyes and leaned his head over the tree enjoying the feeling.

Free from his stares, Sakura took the courage to look for the first time at his penis. They slept twice already and she never once dared to look, although she could feel he was big and thick. It was just as she thought, but more beautifully shaped. No wander she hurt every time when he is so gifted. Her body was not ready to take him in and she never played down there with her fingers. She was raw the moment he entered her and although a medic, she knew so little of what sex truly was.

His penis is hard but smooth and beautiful. Finding herself before such a wonderful sample she had no second thoughts. She leaned in and stuck out her tongue to lick the tip. The taste was not sweet as she often read in books but somewhat salty. Not disliking his taste and enjoying how creamy his skin felt beneath her tongue, she was left wanting to do more.

Shisui rested one of his hands on top of her head and cracked his eyes open. The sky was beautiful but what Sakura was doing was breathtaking.

He suddenly jerked when he felt her tongue but didn't look towards her. Instead he bit his lower lip and pushed his hips closer to her face. He was not expecting more but when he finally looked down, he was mesmerized by how Sakura parted her lips and leaned in to suck him. His penis throbbed between her lips as it filled her mouth. Damn, he never saw anything as beautiful as this.

Shisui grasped her hair and pushed her head down, wishing for her to take more of him. Sakura folded her hands around his thighs and allowed him to guide her up and down until she reached a peace he enjoyed. He then gathered all her hair in a messy ponytail to have a better look at her face.

Their eyes met as Sakura released his member, tongue licking his tip as she pulled back.

"Feels good?" she innocently asked looking straight into his eyes. She can read it was bless for him but she wants to hear it from his lips.

Shisui used his free hand to wipe away some precum from her chin. This woman is nothing but a curse but he won't complain this time. Her mouth was wet and hot and it was amazing how her tongue wrapped around him. "Want to continue?" he asked not wishing to force her. Sakura looked at him with innocent eyes but she nodded and opened his pink lips to welcome him back in with a hard suck. How could he push this witch away when she keeps on teaching him things he never knew? She enriches him with so much that he finds it hard to imagine a day without her.

She wanted to continue as her tongue never touched something as smooth and creamy. Sakura took in as much as she could before she sucked back up. She was pleased with the way he was moaning so she started moving with more rhythm.

"Careful," he gasped feeling her teeth.

Despite being the only one giving pleasure, Sakura was enjoying it too. She wanted to give him something, to prove she is his but she didn't expect she'll get horny from it. She is horny and wet and that makes her want to suck harder.

To say it was not great would be a lie. He enjoyed every single movement and he could tell she liked it too. When her head went up, he touched her chin with his thumb and gently pushed her away from his throbbing penis. His palm opened beneath her lips and prevented his liquid from reaching her face. He is a brute but he won't let her drink his juices.

Sakura licked her wet lips and wiped her chin with her fingers before getting up and looking right into his eyes. "There is no one else for me," she said with a straight face. Not a confession, but a fact.

Shisui looked at her with a poker face. He read in her eyes she was telling the truth and he now had no more doubts. She sucked out of him every negative emotion. He looked down at his dirty hand, cum dripping between his fingers. That was something new for him and he must admit he enjoyed every moment of it. Hopefully it will happen again and soon.

"I'm still hard," he said feeling his member pocking his abdomen. The sight of his cum and the feeling of the saliva dripping down his balls made him linger for more.

She felt like he was waiting for her answer so she stepped closer to him and pushed his dirty hand away so she could press her chest over him. "I could use that," she whispered looking straight into his eyes.

Sakura was many things and she never chased to surprise him but she was not that bold. He feels like everything is because of the argument they recently had and although her actions are uncalled for, he will just go with the flow until she says no. If she doesn't, then even better for him. He will stretch her willingness until it breaks. This time he will feel no remorse. She might be young but what just happened is proof that age is just a number and the desire is the same for everyone. She is fully aware of what she just did and she understands the consequences.

He pressed his forehead over hers and started into her green orbits. "Undress then," he ordered and she wasted no time to please him.

* * *

"There is a gathering," Tenten said as she stopped by the medical tent to call Sakura at the meeting. The girl took off her gloves and walked after Tenten with slow moves, her vagina is still burning from the last night's friction. She pressed her thighs together and walked after Tenten hoping the girl won't question her.

"What is it about?" she asked growing curios. Usually, when such meetings happen it cannot be anything good: they either lost territory or they won't get as much food as before. Nobody bothered to organize meetings for good stuff.

"No idea," Tenten said looking over her shoulder, her eyes not missing how Sakura made an awkward step while pressing her knees together. But she ignored it and said nothing as it is not her business. "I was told by Naruto."

"Oh," Sakura nodded. They asked Naruto of all people to inform the camp about the gathering? Sakura shook her head and concluded it was nothing important.

Everyone was gathered in front of the canteen and stared at Koharu with unimpressed expressions. They are tired and hungry but mainly tired. Nothing coming from that woman could make them feel alive again. Sakura stepped in line with Tenten and patiently waited for all the people to gather and hear the amazing news they didn't care about.

The girl squeezed her thighs again, growing slightly horny under the pressure. She still burns but last night she was wet and hot with desire. The moment they stepped inside the river Sakura jumped him and surprised him with her hunger. They wasted no time and he penetrated her with one smooth swing. She never felt more ready to take him as that night. The penis slid in smoothly and hit the burning spot inside her. If she knew sucking him will turn into such an amazing experience followed by several orgasms she would've done it long ago. She had doubts when her virgin tongue touched him but his taste and velvety skin made her want to feel him more, to fill her to the deepest point.

Koharu cleared her throat and Sakura focused back on the despiteful woman. She hates her and she really hopes she has the chance to let her die on an operation table. She won't even have doubts when the moment comes. "We can go home," Koharu announced and that made everyone freeze with mouths wide open. That could mean many things and Sakura was not ready to have her hopes crushed. What does that mean? Have they lost the war and they are now slaves to the Suna? Or are they really going back to their village and families? Her lips tremble with fear. She wants home! "This war is done," Koharu finished and walked from the stage. They didn't get to hear if they won but the idea of going home was enough. Everyone shouted with joy and hugged each other.

Sakura stood still, although Tenten was hugging her and crying in her ear. Is it really done? It started for no reason and now it ends out of the sudden? Sakura looked over her shoulder and caught a glimpse of Shisui. He was staring at her with dark, cold eyes. He didn't like it either.


	10. Chapter 10

Sakura gathered all her things into one backpack in less than 5 minutes. All she had worth taking home were her weapons, a shirt and some flowers she gathered for baths. That was all she owned and could be taken back home. She walked out with her backpack and trash and started taking down her tent. Nobody told them how the war ended but she later heard from Kakashi that they won an important fight south from their camp and managed to reach Sunagakure. The team was lead by no other than Yondaime himself. He gathered all the shinobi with experience, Inoichi, Fugaku, Choza, and other older clan leaders and together with some capable younger shinobi, they managed to reach the Sand village in one week. Nobody from their camp was told about that great plan, meaning none of the less important shinobi, like her, but Sakura was somehow not surprised to hear that the Kage moved his ass away from the village and did something. But then again, they fought for months and that kage managed to outsmart them in a week.

Upset is not really the right word to describe how she feels. If they would've done that from the beginning now she wouldn't have been a wretch of a shinobi. She got her ass kicked for months and on top of that the village taught her what mistakes are about and after all of that they just fucking came and won in a week. She never learned why the damn thing started in the first place and probably never will and now she is to learn that everything was for nothing. Just a hand of strong shonobi lead by the kage was enough to do what they couldn't. They had on their side powerful shinobi and it was still no match for the veterans. She feels cheated in many ways but nobody really cares for that.

With the tent down, Sakura took her wretched shirt, small soap and the leftovers she gathered for hungry days and walked to the trash bin. They won the war and she still has nothing. She cannot even feel victory. Probably very few can feel that taste as everyone is tired and left with no more fighting spirit.

With the things disposed of, Sakura went to the medical tent where she found Ino and Hinata already packing things up. She walked in silence inside and gathered all the files on an empty table. She was ordered to make sure all the files are in order and updated before she sends them back. It is an overhead to check for everything and she hates doing it on her own but those files are confidential and only doctors can have access to them. She has a list of all the shinobi in the camp and checking them one by one she will hopefully finish in the next 3 hours.

But it took her more than expected and she found herself left alone and with no tent above her head. In the evening, Sakura, watched by two shinobi, managed to finish checking everything up and completed all files. It took her 7 hours to finish and as soon as she did, the men took the files and left for Konoha. They didn't even thank her and didn't even wait for her to tell them she is done. The moment she stood, the approached the table and gathered everything.

She walked towards the campfire, watching everyone gathered there with drinks and some food. This relatively silent gathering is their celebration. People are just chatting and drinking, no music on the background and nobody dancing. Just talking.

Sakura nodded to herself that she doesn't want to be part of that so she went for a one last walk through the forest. She will surprisingly miss this forest, the scent and the green. She will also miss her baths here which were so pleasant and relaxing. And, she will miss the few meetings she had with Shisui here.

She sat on the shore and took off her sandals to relax her feet inside the river one last time. This place was her oasis and it is a shame she will not get to come here in the future. As far as she is concerned, she will focus on her career as a medic and give a break to her kunoichi side. For a while at least.

She feels empty. Everything feels like it was for nothing and victory has no taste at all. She never expected it to end like this; she really believed victory will feel like heaven but she was wrong. This war took away her chance to experience a normal life and although she still has time, she cannot enjoy life anymore. This life was just too cruel to her and she lost everything she ever was. The strength she gathered has no meaning anymore because there is no more war. Sakura stared at her reflection with emotionless eyes. Damn, she became less than human for nothing and now, now that that she finally goes home, she has nothing left. There is no more youth left in her to enjoy a cup of tee with friends.

"Don't look like that," Shisui said as he approached her. He can understand what is bothering her and although it is not his style to care, he kind of feels the same way as her. "Let's go home," he said and released her backpack next to her.

Sakura silently nodded and got up like an obedient girl. She stepped inside her shoes and grabbed her backpack, ready to head back to Konoha. She didn't question how he find her stuff; she herself forgot where she left her backpack. "Alone?" she asked as they started walking.

"We do not have orders to come together or be in the village tonight so it doesn't matter." He raised her chin and leaned in for a fast kiss. Their lips touched only for a few seconds and it was a soft kiss but it was enough to lift some doubts from their hearts.

What does the kiss mean? Sakura has no idea and she has problems reading his actions but she enjoyed the moment. His taste and scent were enough to motivate her to follow him back to the village. She would like to know more about him and spend more time together but she cannot be selfish. She will only take what he is willing to give. Even if that is crushing her a little.

"Got any plans for when we are back?" she asked from behind him.

Shisui licked his lips as he thought of an answer. The only plans he ever made were for missions. Other than that he never bothered to make plans for himself. He did whatever he was asked and he often trained with Itachi. His life before the war was dull and lacked a lot. He can say that his life got a lot better after he met Sakura and he finally has a reason to do stuff. Not that he would admit it out loud. Shisui didn't know the desire to wake up and sought after one person. He never knew that he could think so much of something other than his clan or village. Sakura was the first person to give meaning to the cherry blossoms and to the color green. He enjoys life at a different level now.

"No," he honesty replied with a heavy heart. Back in the village he will no longer have the freedom to taste the cherry blossom behind him. Shisui stopped and turned to face her. Sakura was checking their surroundings but calmly fixed her attention on him. Once back, they won't be able to be as they were in the camp. People will start noticing and they will not like it at all. "Nobody can know about us," he said and took a step closer to her. "You know this, right?"

Sakura knew it very well. She didn't think of it but she was aware that they wouldn't be meeting as they used to. Once back, they will have different responsibilities and schedules. "I won't talk about it," she nodded to him.

"Never tell your parents," he ordered on a stern voice. Imagine if her parents knew what he did with her. The last thing he wants is to go to prison for molesting her. Even if he knows she is not an innocent child, there are laws protecting her.

Her family would be disappointed and scared if they knew. Disappointed because she had no dignity and kneed before an older man to suck him and scared because they wouldn't know how to protect her. How can simple people protect her from a powerful clan that can erase anything in no time? It is funny how Shisui still doesn't understand that he is untouchable unless someone really wants to believe her and make things right. But she doesn't long for protection but for a rough man to keep her alive. As far as she is concerned, Shisui has no faults. "Is that all?" She snorted and attempted to walk past him.

Shisui grabbed her elbow and stopped her from leaving. "This is a serious matter."

"Yes, I know but we can drop it because I won't talk about it," she answered, irritation clear in her voice. She is not a child to brag about what she did. It is not even something she wants people to know.

Shisui nodded and released her arm. They walked again in silence, Sakura feeling her chest heavy. There could be many things that bother her. One of them is her uncertain relationship with Shisui. Another one is the fact that she will shortly see her parents again and she has no idea how to act. And finally, the mystery around this war is unsettling her.

"What was the point of this war?" she asked assuming that Shisui knows.

"I have no idea," he answered right away.

"Do you think Yondaime started it?" she insisted.

Shisui stopped again and turned to face her. "How about you use that mouth on something else?" he hissed and pined her to a tree. He hungrily captured her lips in a deep kiss.

He feels many things and among them, frustration is most predominant. They informed him about Yondaime's plan to infiltrate with a few selected ones in Suna no Kuni and he patiently waited for everything to end. He just didn't know the end would feel so unsatisfying. The thought of going home was nice but now he understands how much freedom he will lose.

* * *

Sakura watched the door with a pit in her stomach. She has been standing in front of it for the last five minutes, trying to imagine the meeting with her family. They travelled all night, maybe took a break for some sexual release, and once they found themselves inside Konohagakure, Shisui told her to take care and left her to find her way to her parents. Barely 7 in the morning, the village was quiet and the streets were almost empty. She met nobody she knew and when she stepped in front of the door, she froze there completely lost. All she ever wanted was to be back home and now that she is there, she cannot find the courage to step inside.

She heard sounds coming from behind the door, a chair being pulled, a plate being set on the table, sounds she hasn't heard since last year. She was not gone for more than 9 months and yet she feels like it has been forever. Her vocabulary feels extremely thin and she doesn't know how to start the conversation. Another chair was heard and she knew both her parents were up and taking breakfast. She smiled realizing that two chairs mean two parents alive.

With great care not to make a sound, Sakura reached the handle and pushed it down. She stepped inside with ease, almost alarmed to realize how anyone could've walked inside and hurt her parents. Sakura made sure to arrange her shoes and as she got up she couldn't help but feel trapped, or better said, it felt like the cell she was kept in for 10 days. The hall is narrow and dark and the light at the end of it remembers her of prison. Sakura took in a deep breath, trying her best to calm down her heart and convince herself that this is nothing but her imagination. Their house was always small and crowded but it felt perfect before war. Now she has to get used to it once more.

The kunoichi clenched tight her fists and took small steps towards their living room. That is right, if this were a cell she wouldn't freely move around without someone trying to stop her. Her parents never touched her when she was naughty so she can trust them. The village on the other hand, did nothing but beat and burry her alive. She might feel trapped but she is safe.

Her parents were chatting about the weather while enjoying some homemade breakfast: rice, miso and fish. Her stomach knotted at the sight of food, and on top of that well-cooked food. She scanned her mother, noticing how tired her face was and how old she became in just a few months. Her mother must be really worried about her and probably cannot relax at all. Her father is sitting with his back at her but she can tell from the white hair that he grew older too, probably stressed as well.

The smell of food finally reached her and she couldn't help the sudden sound made by her stomach. That made Mebuki look up and notice her daughter standing next to the door with wretched clothes and messy hair. She froze, scared she might be seeing a ghost.

"T-tadaima…" Sakura greeted feeling embarrassed when her eyes met her mother's.

"Sakura…" her father whispered as he turned to see her.

Hearing her husband's voice, she knew that her daughter was not an illusion but the real thing. "Welcome back!" Mebuki painfully cried and jumped towards her daughter, pushing the chair down and stumbling on the table in process. The moment her hands locked over Sakura's back she felt like a rock was lifted from her heart. Her daughter is real and alive.

Sakura's cheeks grew slightly pink and she couldn't help but lean in the embrace. She pressed her forehead over her mother's and closed her eyes. She can feel Mebuki's heart beating fast. Sakura had many nightmares in which she lost her parents but that heart beat tells her her mother is in good health.

Sakura portrayed a ghost of a smile to her family and stood still as Mabuki hugged her. She doesn't know how to react and she is scared of touching her mother with her bloody, dirty, sinful hands. She just buried her nose into her mother's hair, taking in the smell of a living creature. Mebuki smells nice, clean while she is practically a corpse. Her father wrapped his hands around both of them and they cried feeling blessed to have their child back home. Sakura was moved but she couldn't cry. Her tears have long drained and regardless of how happy she is, she cannot show it. She couldn't cry even when they whipped her back until it broke. But she likes hearing their cries, their voices which reach her heart and calms it down. It is nice but she doesn't know how to react.

When they calmed down, Mebuki motion to Sakura to have a seat and eat with them. "I would much rather take a bath," Sakura replied staring ahead at the table, at the warm and generous amount of food. It's been ages since she last saw so much food on a table and somehow she doesn't find it appealing. She feels sick at the stomach from the amazing smell of well-cooked food. She needs out of there.

"I will prepare the water," Mebuki announced and walked ahead to the bathroom.

Sakura nodded to her father and turned to follow Mebuki. She left the backpack next to the door and took small steps towards the bathroom. The door was wide open, Mebuki making sure the tub was clean before letting water fill it. Sakura felt amused at her mother's great care but refrained from telling what types of bath she took these days. She just watched as Mebuki prepared everything with great care. Such a royal treatment for a dirty rat like her.

"I made a nice mint bath salts," Mebuki announced reaching the bottle. She removed the lid and took in a deep breath of the scent. Sakura shook her head refusing to smell it when Mebuki motion her to approached. She just watched her mother from the doorstep.

She feels out of place and she hates everything about her home. She hates the roof, the space, the light and she hates the safety she feels. All she ever wanted was to be back home with her parents but now she is too wild to fit back in. The warmest water she knows is the one from tea. Other than that her baths were ice cold and in plain sight. The privacy feels terribly wrong.

"I will get out if you want," Mebuki said on a trembling voice, secretly hoping Sakura wouldn't push her away.

Sakura didn't mind her mother's presence there so she undressed without shame. She basically ripped the clothes from her body and tossed them behind her. What is shame? The kunoichi walked next to her mother and stared at the crowded bathtub and at the floating mint. Disgust would be the best word to describe the feeling knotting inside her neck. Feeling her mother's stares, she stepped inside the hot water, feeling her skin sting from the sudden heat. That was it, the pain she needed to feel to make everything feel right. She sat and her mother wasted no time before she grabbed a sponge and started rubbing her daughter's dirty arms. The water became dark.

* * *

Shisui had no idea what to expect when he walked inside his house. The lights were on. The smell of the house felt comforting. He knew that instance that he hated being there and he couldn't stand to be home but he left his backpack at the entrance and walked towards the kitchen, where he could feel his mother moving. He walked on the porch with slow steps and took his time to notice how the yard changed. The floor felt nice beneath his dirty feet as he walked and he suddenly got the feeling that he was unbearably filthy. When he finally reached the living room, he couldn't help but notice the hot meal resting on the low table. He was more than ready to walk in when he heard footsteps. His mother walked out of the kitchen and looked at him with warm eyes. "Welcome back," she whispered. She scanned her son from top to toe to make sure he was in one piece.

"I'm home," he replied right away and forgot about the food. He also scanned her, making sure she was healthy.

"Oh, come here," she whispered reaching him with her hands. They never hugged and his parents were not the kind to show too much but this time his mother's eyes seemed unexpectedly warm. The moment she opened her arms and stepped towards him he forgot about the food and hugged her with a strong grip. It was their first hug since ages.

* * *

Sakura stared at her clean reflection. It has been months since she took such a relaxing and welcoming bath. Her skin is shinny and creamy – almost unrecognizable.

"Are you sure?" her mother asked combing her long locks.

"Yeah, cut as much as you can," Sakura replied not caring about her hair.

Mebuki was unsure if she should really cut the long and beautiful hair but she decided to trust her daughter so she cut as much as her heart allowed.

When her first locks landed on the ground, Sakura felt a burden lifting from her shoulders. She used to love her hair, mainly because she loved Sasuke and she heard rumors of his preferences. When she left for war, her hair was barely touching her back but it was shiny and pretty. She hoped Sasuke will notice and compliment it but he never cared for her hair or existence. After war taught her the harsh reality of what being a shinobi is, she forgot why she was growing it. Sasuke became a man she didn't want to be involved with and she wasn't interested in impressing Shisui with her looks. Although, she did appreciate his interest in her. It is a pity how it never evolved to more.

* * *

Her mother rested a clean plate in front of Sakura and invited her to dig in. Sakura was lost with the diversity of food so she chose the only thing she still recognized: the rice. She had a taste and she nearly gave in to the sudden flavor of well-cooked rice. Her mother is the best chef she knows and having the chance to eat her cooking again feels unreal. Sakura had another teste and by that moment she felt herself warming up on the inside. She stuffed her mouth with the rice and chewed as fast as she could, afraid she might lose the chance to eat more if she wasted time.

Her mother grabbed her hand to stop her from forcing herself. "You have time," she said on a trembling voice and tears surfacing again.

The feeling of her mother's hand melted the remaining ice around her heart. Sakura swallowed the rice and set the bowl down while looking at her mother. "I'm…sorry…" she whispered as her eyes wet. Sakura covered her mouth and suddenly felt dirty. She doesn't deserve to eat something so heavenly when she is a disgusting woman. Her mouth is filthy and she did things with it that make her unworthy of such a treat. After months of being cold like a stone she broke to pieces and started crying out loud. _What has she done_, she asked herself with regret. Only yesterday she was on her knees sucking a man and now she acts as if she is their well raised daughter when in fact she is a whore of a woman. And for what?

Mebuki broke again and jumped to hug Sakura. She pulled her daughter's head to her chest and buried her painful cries. Mebuki will take in all the pain if that helped Sakura.

* * *

"I am proud of everyone," Yondaime said looking at his faithful shinobi. They have been through hell but they remained faithful to the village and that means a lot. "We won this war because our fire spirit was stronger. Thank you," he finished and bowed his head to all the tired shinobi.

Sakura watched emotionless as she stood with her Academy friends in the last rows on top of the Hokage Tower. She cannot be impressed by the gesture. A man who doesn't bother to explain why war started and who doesn't even care to inform everyone how it will end does not deserve her faith. He is lucky he is Naruto's father cause otherwise she would've doubted him of being a traitor.

"Want to go out for a coffee?" Ino asked from behind with a big grin.

Sakura silently shook her head and when Yondaime stepped down she was out of the crowd and went home. She took her time, walking down the street and scanning the carefree people. People enjoy their lives as they always did and none of them seem to have been affected by the war. They probably never stepped outside the safety of the village and they never saw what humans are capable of doing. Part of her is glad she is not as oblivious as them but the other part of her resents their naivety. She didn't have a choice as they did. From the very beginning she was ordered to pack a few things and get her ass on the battlefield.

* * *

The bed is comfortable, soft and clean and very different from the rug she slept on in the camp. The sheets have a nice smell that tingles her nostrils. Sakura fell asleep quite fast, her mother next to her holding her hand. Sakura was surprised herself how docile she was and how easily she caved in to her mother's request and allowed her to sleep together. The nice scent, her mother's touch and the comfort of the bed helped her fall asleep quite fast. She drifted away within minutes after the lights were out and she slept peacefully for two hours, until a sound made her brows knit and wrinkles appeared on her forehead. She partially opened her eyes and looked at the blanket. No more sound being made and no movement in the room, she closed her eyes once more and blamed a bad dream that woke her up. Bad dreams are normal for her and they don't scare her anymore.

But the sound came back and this time it was loud and clear. Sakura jumped on her rear and stared at the end of the bed, fingers clenching the blanket. She can stand death and pain and nightmares but she cannot stand that sound. The sound made by lashes upon touching the skin. She bit her lower lip hearing the sound again and she nearly hit the mattress if it weren't for her mother's sudden leg jerk. Sakura held in the desire to release her anger and tried to focus on her hearing. This isn't real. Not anymore.

Although she is there with her family she feels lonely and unsatisfied. Her mother cannot help her but Shisui could. She wants to see him. Her heart longs for him. Sakura covered her face with her palms. She cannot stand this life anymore.

* * *

Sakura sat in a swing and looked towards the screaming children. It was the loudest place she could find and she liked the agitation and screams. It felt like war. Sakura didn't think she will have such a hard time accommodating back home. She really believed that once she stepped inside the village she will act normal and go back to her job as a medic but it didn't happen. It's been three days since she returned and everything about the village feels unnatural. People are calm and enjoy their lives as they always did and this is infuriating. She was a corps for months for these people and they have no idea what it is like to be hungry and beaten up day after day. Her shoulders stiffened as she looked at the carefree mothers who were laughing and talking. She would love to jump at their necks and show them what it is like to have no right to feel or even have a child. War didn't kill only shinobi but many unborn children.

A heavy hand rested on her shoulder and she blinked surprised at the sudden feeling. Sakura gaped as she realized how strong her killing intent was and looked over her shoulder at the person disturbing her.

"Calm down," Shisui commanded smelling her anger.

Sakura bit her lower lip finding comfort in his steady hand. The darkness of his eyes calms her down and makes her muscles relax. Sakura swallowed harshly looking at the man who ruined her forever.

Shisui examined Sakura as she stood up and turned to face him. He hasn't seen her since they came back but he had many reports to write and there were many meetings he had to attend to. Before he realized it, three days had passed without even thinking of her. Even now, he approached her only because he happened to walk by the park on his way home. He scanned her from top to toe trying to figure out if she was fine. She wears a short, plain, white dress which hugs her curves. It is very strange for him to see her wearing something other than her shinobi outfit. But what really bothers him is how her new looks point out her real age: barely 17. He feels sick at the stomach realizing that such a young girl kneeled down and sucked him while he pushed her head down to take in more of him. He never bothered to care about her age but now he feels like some morals come back to him.

"I want you," she whispered with a trembling voice.

"Come," he said and motioned her to move.

He always knew that he took advantage of her but he felt like it was fine. The excuse was always the same: war was much worse than what he was doing to her. He could defend himself saying that Sakura never revealed her age but he knew she was in the same team as Sasuke and figuring out her age wouldn't have been impossible, or hard. He just didn't want to.

"How is it at home?" he heard her asking from behind. Her voice doesn't reflect confidence anymore.

"Fine." Finding the place quiet enough and away from people's view, he turned and faced her. He noticed her glassy eyes right away. She looks at him as if waiting for him to do something and put her out of her misery. Shisui didn't expect her to have such a hard time fitting back in. He was used to long and difficult missions so when he arrived home he didn't feel much. But then again, he was so busy that he didn't even get to have a good rest. "Don't look at me like that," he hissed.

Sakura bit her lower lip as she looked away. She knows he doesn't like weak people and she wants to be strong and confident but she has no more strength to ignore her feelings. She is tired all the time and although she had plenty of rest, she finds it really tiresome to act normal with her parents. Even being with her friends is difficult so she has been refusing to meet them.

She doesn't want to commit the same mistake she did with Sasuke but he is the only one she can still speak with without getting sick.

Shisui noticed her eyelashes getting wet and he was about to tell her something when Sakura opened her arms and locked them behind his back. He froze in her grip and her sobs sealed his lips. Shisui forgot the harsh words he had ready for her and just stood there as she vented her frustration. Sakura never cried before him and she never showed a sign of weakness so having her pressed over his chest as she pours out her feelings is troubling him. He never comforted anyone, and he ignored those who needed a shoulder to cry on. She is becoming troublesome.

* * *

**_I appreciate honest reviews so please write your thoughts about the story so far or about this chapter. Reviews motivate me and I like reading them whenever I find it hard to write ^^_**


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